Gifted and Talented
by PNT
Summary: Who says smart kids have to be good? Crushes. Dances. School. Competition. Pity the poor freshmen. [High school AU, lotsa pairings eventually]
1. Questionably Gifted

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. I will GIVE you high school. You can HAVE it. No take-backs.

**A/N:** First Naruto AU, and at the time of its writing first Naruto fic ever. If my writing style AMAZES you and you are blown away by my eloquent use of LANGUAGE and you happen to like INUYASHA or LORD OF THE RINGS, READ MY OTHER FICS of YOUTH and ENTHUSIASM and POWER because I am doing my nice-girl pose for you. Then REVIEW them. And this. –sparklies-

Sooyeah. Now that the shameless self-promotion is over and done with, I'd like to say a few words about this fic. (hear, hear) The characterization is way crazy right now, because you're just meeting the characters, and it should mellow out as the story goes on. I hope. Keep that in mind when you are leaving your REVIEWS OF YOUTH, which you shall do abundantly, of course. I love constructive criticism especially, as it's definitely better than blind praise and infinitely better than flames. Just keep it in mind…

**Gifted and Talented**

**Chapter 1: Questionably Gifted**

Naruto Uzumaki was definitely, certainly, most assuredly _not_ sleeping in science class when he heard his name on the loudspeaker. He was _resting_ his _eyes_. But he had heard his name, so he lifted his head off his desk and wiped the drool from his mouth and asked Sakura Haruno, who was walking by him, what he was wanted for.

"I don't know, but we're supposed to go down to the auditorium," she said, rolling her absolutely stunning green eyes.

"Yeah! I get out of science!" Naruto yelled, causing his teacher Ms. Godaime and several of the students to turn to look at him as he sprinted out of the room. Sakura rolled her eyes again.

Even though he'd been (definitely not) sleeping a few minutes ago, Naruto was full of energy and reached the auditorium first. There were several teachers and a few upperclassmen standing by the podium and talking. One or two of them looked up as Naruto entered, running straight into a seat with a loud crash and then sitting down in it.

Second in was Kiba Inuzuka, followed closely by Sasuke Uchiha and then Sakura. "Sakura! Sit here!" Naruto yelled, waving his hand in the air, but she gave him a weird look and followed Sasuke, who didn't look too happy to have her. Kiba took a seat up front as the door opened again and more people walked in. The group was all freshmen, most of whom Naruto didn't know. This wasn't exactly surprising, since Naruto had only been in high school for a week.

Naruto's Japanese teacher Ms. Yuuhi did a quick head-count and then announced, "If we're all here, then let's begin. Lee?" A boy stepped up to the microphone. He had a bowl-cut, a green turtleneck, and some of the largest eyebrows Naruto had ever seen.

"Yes, Ms. Yuuhi!" The boy, apparently named Lee, saluted, and then began, so loudly that Shikamaru Nara, who was sleeping in the back, jumped visbly. "WELCOME, YOUTHFUL FRESHMEN, TO KONOHA HIGH'S AMAZING ACADEMIC COMPETITION TEAM! ARE YOU BURNING WITH ENTHUSIASM FOR THIS ENDEAVOR?" He raised a fist and assumed some sort of odd posture that Naruto assumed was meant to be heroic. Or something.

Glancing around the auditorium, Naruto saw that most of the freshmen looked both totally weirded out by Lee's performance and totally confused as to what this 'academic competition team' was. Lee, apparently, also saw this.

"Mr. Maito! May I explain to these youthful freshmen the purpose of our great team?"

"LEE! YOU HAVE MADE YOUR TEACHER PROUD OF YOUR YOUTHFUL ENTHUSIASM FOR OUR TEAM!" A teacher, who looked uncannily like Lee, posed in the same odd manner.

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

Okay, maybe being bored in science was better than this. At least Ms. Godaime didn't stand around yelling students' names unless she was really angry. And she wasn't anywhere near this weird.

"MR. MAITO!"

"Gai, you're scaring the students," said Mr. Hatake, one of the English teachers. Mr. Maito looked at Mr. Hatake, his…whatever interrupted.

"MR. HATAKE! THAT REACTION WAS EXTREMELY HIP AND COOL, MAKING YOU FIT TO BE MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

"UOOOOOOOOO! MR. MAITO!" Lee added helpfully.

"We don't want to keep the students too long," said Mr. Hatake, and began to read a book.

"THAT REACTION WAS EXTREMELY—" began Mr. Maito, but he was cut off by Ms. Yuuhi, to the disappointment of Lee and the relief of everyone else in the room.

"The Academic Competition is a sort of tradition in this city," she said. "Students from all our high schools, of all grades and from any educational background, meet twice a year to compete in what Mr. Maito likes to call 'a proud battle of youthful wit.' The winners bring glory to their schools and to themselves, and our college counselor tells us a win looks impressive on applications. There is also a small cash reward, and several local restaurants offer free meal coupons to competitors." Naruto wondered if Ichiraku Ramen, the best restaurant in the world, gave out free food coupons. This could be an exciting opportunity!

Pausing for a moment, Ms. Yuuhi let Asuma, Naruto's English teacher (who went by his first name), take over. "So, it's a pretty nice package, and the teachers, at least, have fun preparing Konoha High for the event. You nine have been selected to compete in the first year team event, which means, basically, that your middle school teachers and your high school teachers have recommended you as having potential to win."

_Potential to win? Sasuke?_ thought Naruto. _Who would recommend him?_

"You've been divided into teams based on your talents," said Mr. Hatake, looking up from his book. "Each team will be assigned to a teacher who you can work out individual practice schedules with. I'm afraid I've lost the sheet with the team assignments." He smiled, the corners of his one visible eye crinkling up. Asuma grinned and passed Mr. Hatake a sheet of paper.

"Thank you," said Mr. Hatake politely, looking down. "My team will consit of Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno," Naruto could see the disappointed expression on her face from across the auditorium, "and Sasuke Uchiha." He could also see her unmistakable glee when Sasuke's name was called, but he was too busy being shocked that he was on a team with both his crush and his worst enemy to worry about said crush's feelings for said enemy.

"Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka, and Hinata Hyuuga will be on a team led by Ms. Yuuhi. And Chouji Akimichi, Shikamaru Nara, and Ino Yamanaka will practice with Asuma. You can meet with your teachers now to schedule your first practice."

Mr. Hatake strolled over to where Sasuke and Sakura were sitting, reading his orange book as he walked. Naruto got that he was supposed to be joining them, so he scrambled out of his seat and jumped into the one next to Sakura.

"Hey," said Mr. Hatake. "So, apparently you are the idiots I'm supposed to prepare for victory." Sakura turned her eyes from Sasuke to the still-reading teacher at that, obviously suppressing rage. Sasuke grunted.

"What?" yelled Naruto, his voice loud enough that the other teams turned to look at him. "Maybe Sasuke here is an idiot, but I'm sure not!"

Sakura rolled those perfect jade orbs again, her action mirrored by Mr. Hatake's one visible eye. "Not idiots? I'll believe it when I see it." He took three papers from between the pages of his book and gave one to each student. "There's a math problem on each of these," he said. "Solve yours, and you're worthy of this team. Don't, and I can kick you off. Don't even think about asking your teammates for help. I'll know if you do, and you'll still be kicked off. I'm afraid even teachers need to eat, so I'm leaving you three for the teachers' lounge. When I'm done with my lunch, I expect all three of you to be finished."

Mr. Hatake walked out of the auditorium, leaving Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura sitting in the wooden seats of the auditorium and staring at math problems. Naruto hated math.

His sheet read: "Three ninjas, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, are on an assignment to steal two bells from their teacher, Hatake Kakashi. Unfortunately, only a ninja holding a bell will be able to eat lunch. In other words, only two of the three will be allowed to eat. If, on a scale of 1 to 10, Naruto's intelligence is 3, his stamina 10, his control 4, his determination 9, and his ability to surprise 9, which two ninjas will get the bells?"

_What the hell?_

There was a long silence, in which all three team members stared blankly at their problems. Then:

"Hey, idiot." Sasuke poked Naruto in the shoulder with his pencil. "What's your problem say?"

"Mr. Hatake said we're not supposed to help each other!" Naruto protested. "I don't wanna be an idiot!"

"Newsflash: you are," said Sakura, flipping her pretty peach hair. "But Sasuke, he'll find out, won't he? If we have our problems done, he'll know we've cheated."

"They're impossible to do without looking at all three, so we'll fail if we don't look," said Sasuke coldly, as if he was explaining something to a very small and dim child. "There's the chance that he won't know if we do, in which case we get them right and pass. And if he does know, we fail anyway."

"Maybe it's a trick," said Naruto, his blue eyes lighting up. "That dirty…"

Wordlessly, Sasuke handed his paper to Naruto. It was the same problem, but with Sasuke's stats substituted for Naruto's. Naruto was displeased to see that several of Sasuke's numbers were higher than his. He handed both papers over to Sakura, who was sitting in the middle, and she looked them over, nodding and wrinkling her large forehead in concentration. Both boys peeked over her shoulders and tried to make sense of the numbers in front of her. They were so absorbed that they didn't notice Mr. Hatake come in, book in hand.

"Hello," he said, looking pointedly at all three problems in Sakura's hands. The team jumped, and Sakura dropped the sheets, looking guilty.

"You…you…" said the teacher, closing his book. Was that rage in his single eye? They were in for it now.

"You pass!" he said cheerfully. "Welcome to the Konoha High School Academic Competition Team!"


	2. A Mixture of Talent

Disclaimer: Don't own don't own dow non't dot known… 

**A/N: **My grand review total for Chapter 1: ZERO. You have no idea how sad this makes me, do you? Please, I beg of you, review if you have anything to say at all. I love reviews, even if they're pointless. They make me happy. Please? -puppy face-

POV switching. Oh, I'm bad. By the way, the POVs I'm using have absolutely nothing to do with the pairings I'm using, like in so many romance fics. They're just here because I felt like writing that character or their story was important at the time.

I imply quite a lot of pairings in this chapter. Some of them will be the final ones, some of them won't. I haven't fully decided yet, and you haven't met all the characters anyway. (Note lack of sand sibs and Akatsuki.) When I do come to a decision, you will not know who will be paired with whom unless you send a begging PM with decent grammar and a cookie. Suffice to say that there will probably be both het and slash, because that's the way the world works. Please don't stop reading or reviewing because you hate het/slash/uncertain pairings/any pairing that isn't your OTP. I love readers and reviewers far too much for that.

**Chapter 2: A Mixture of Talent**

To say that Ino Yamanaka was not happy would be an understatement. Not only was she not on Sasuke's team, _Sakura_ was, and Ino was stuck with these losers. These losers' fathers were longtime friends of the family, but their sons certainly weren't friends of hers. Not since the age of five or so, anyway.

With her discerning eye for future popularity, she could tell that Shikamaru could have been fairly well-liked, might even have a girlfriend (since he wasn't half bad-looking and smarter than anybody she'd ever known), if he weren't so damn _lazy_. And Chouji would have been a heartthrob skinny. If it weren't for Sasuke, _Ino_ would have dated a skinny Chouji.

But there _was_ a Sasuke, and Shikamaru _was_ lazy, and Chouji _was_ fat, and Ino was not happy at all.

.oOo.

"Hell yeah!" Naruto muttered to himself as he stood in the lunch line. The cafeteria was serving spaghetti with meatballs today, and while it wasn't as good as Ramen Day, Naruto enjoyed any noodles, pretty much. Yeah, today was going great. He'd gotten to miss part of science, been proven soundly as Not An Idiot, sat next to Sakura, and was now waiting for spaghetti and meatballs. Could this day get any better?

Well, maybe if Sakura confessed her undying love for him.

"Naruto?" said a soft female voice. Naruto's heart jumped a couple of inches into his throat before he realized that the speaker was only Hinata, a shy girl who'd gone to his middle school and who he shared a couple classes with.

"Oh? Hey, Hinata." He grinned at her, and failed to notice the blush spreading across her pale cheeks. "What is it?"

"Um, well, Naruto…" Hinata twiddled her thumbs, looking about four feet to the left of Naruto's head. "I…I…Would you like to sit with me?"

Naruto glanced over at the cluster of pink that was Sakura's table. She was laughing about something with her friends, and he knew it was probably Sasuke. He wished he could figure out what was so appealing about that jerk anyway. What would it take for _him_ to be the one they giggled about at lunch or at slumber parties?

"Sure, yeah," he said to Hinata, and she smiled shyly as she led him to a table in one of the corners of the room.

.oOo.

"Sakura, I'm so _jealous_!"

"Ooh, what's Sasuke like up close?"

"What did he say?"

"Why couldn't I have been on your team? I'm definitely smarter than Naruto."

"What about his—"

"Will you shut up?" snapped Ino, who was sitting at the end of the table and trying to pretend she wasn't sulking. She and Sakura had been best friends once, but that was a while ago, and the bitter split they'd suffered still left hard feelings. Sakura was happy taking the center of attention away from her ex-friend. Ino had it coming, she reasoned. Anybody who obsessed over Sasuke, her looks, Sasuke, her popularity, Sasuke, other people's popularity, and Sasuke that much deserved to be dethroned once in a while.

Sakura failed to see the irony in this thought.

"Oh my god, Sasuke's _amazing_," she said, looking straight at Ino. "I'm happy that I get to spend so much time with him." Her eyes lit up as she spoke. The jealousy at the table was so thick Sakura was surprised the rest of the lunchroom didn't notice.

.oOo.

Even though he was sitting as far as humanly possible from the table of giggling fangirls that was Sakura and her friends, Sasuke could hear his name screamed out several times. It figured that they would be talking about him, didn't it?

"You should be flattered, you know," said Haku, who was a sophomore, a relatively sane person, and (shockingly) a guy. He wasn't exactly Sasuke's friend, but they tended to sit at the same lunch table and tolerated each other, at least.

"I'm not," said Sasuke. He knew he should have been, but there really wasn't a point in it. Fangirls, after all, were something his brother had by the hundreds (maybe thousands, Sasuke didn't keep track), and a mere table of them wouldn't make his parents care any more. Besides, they were annoying.

.oOo.

For the thousandth time in the five minutes she'd been sitting there, Hinata wondered what had possessed her to ask Naruto to sit with her. She couldn't stop blushing, her stomach felt funny, and all she was doing was staring at her lunch tray. Naruto probably thought she was boring, quiet, and weird. Hinata thought that about herself most of the time.

Shino was sitting across the table. From what she could tell, he was looking at Naruto from behind his dark glasses. What he thought was impossible to tell, but Hinata hoped it was something nice. Shino was almost her friend, despite the fact that neither of them said much to the other, and she cared about his opinion. That and he could be very creepy when he wanted to, and she didn't want him to try and freak Naruto out.

"Hey, Hinata." She looked up. Was Naruto trying to talk to her? He was so nice. Maybe he would tell her he'd had a crush on her since middle school and would she please be his girlfriend?

"Yes?" Hinata mentally hit herself several times. Why couldn't she say something more interesting?

"Are you going to eat your spaghetti?"


	3. Socializing

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, the series would lose all its fans because of my crappy art. 

**A/N: **Introducing the sand sibs! More Academic Teamers! More teachers! Akatsuki! Profanity! An actual plot! Wowee-kazowee!

…Ignore that last part. Please.

This takes place about a day or two after the first two chapters. Why are they having a long weekend? BECAUSE I SAID SO. It's probably an inservice day on Friday or something, where the teachers have to work but the kids don't have to go to school.

**Chapter 3: Socializing**

Temari had her head quite literally buried in a calculus book, her cell phone to her ear. God, but she wanted it to be quiet. Kankurou was out of the apartment for once, and she should have been taking advantage of the odd silence to study.

"Baki, please, you know I never go out on Thursdays." Voice neutral, unthreatening. Wait until he gets angry to start cussing him out.

"Dammit, Temari, we don't have school tomorrow. What the hell do you want to study all the time for?"

_Myself. College. Getting out of this hellhole._ "Nothing, really. Just don't want to fail any classes this semester."

"You're too damn smart to fail any classes. Stop lying to me." His voice was getting dangerous. "You're avoiding me. I want to go to this party, and I want to go with you. And there're going to be some of those Konoha bastards there and I want to hit something."

_I want to hit something._ That sounded scarily like both Gaara and Baki, and Temari found herself gripping her pencil harder. "All right, I'll go. Pick me up at eight?"

"Yeah," said Baki, sounding calmer. "See ya at eight. I love you." He hung up with Temari still lying face-first in her book.

"I…love you," she muttered into the phone for all the good it would do.

Why did she have to be such an idiot around guys? _Spineless, _she thought, was the word for it. Dammit, she needed Kankurou here right about now. She could yell at him without him taking any offence or thinking she was doing something besides venting. You couldn't do that with Gaara unless you had a death wish.

Temari hurled her pencil at the wall and then went to find something to wear.

.oOo.

The members of the Konoha High Academic Team slowly trickled into Mr. Orochimaru's classroom. He taught physics, Naruto knew, but he had never actually met the reclusive teacher. There were several upperclassmen he hadn't talked to in the room, as well as the bushy-eyebrowed Lee.

"Yo, freshie, what's your name?" said a rough female voice. Naruto assumed she was talking to him, since he appeared to be the only 'freshie' present.

"Don't call me freshie! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

"You _are_ a freshie, dumbass," the girl replied. Her hair was pink, like Sakura's, but it was a darker and more violent shade, and Naruto found her a bit scary-looking.

"Girls shouldn't talk like that, Tayuya," said a heavyset boy sitting next to her.

"Shut the hell up, you misogynistic fatass," said Tayuya, now ignoring Naruto and glaring daggers at the other boy, whose bright orange mohawk trembled visibly.

Sasuke walked in and sat at the back of the room, followed by Sakura and Ino, who took seats on either side of him and alternately gazed longingly at Sasuke and angrily at each other. Sasuke paid no attention to either of them and stared at the snakeskin that was stretched out across the top of the blackboard. Naruto tried to swallow his jealousy and waved halfheartedly at Hinata, who was just entering with Kiba at her side.

When all nine freshmen and twelve upperclassmen were in the room, Ms. Yuuhi, Asuma, Mr. Maito, and a sinister-looking man Naruto didn't know stood up. Mr. Hatake appeared to be absent.

"Welcome to the sixth year of our Academic Team," said Mr. Sinister. "For those of you who do not know me, I am Mr. Orochimaru, physics teacher here at Konoha High School and coordinator of this team. This meeting of the team is for our freshmen and upperclassmen to introduce themselves, and to have the upperclassmen explain the process of the competition to our newcomers." He smiled. Naruto noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes, and found that a bit creepy.

"I'm Kabuto Yakushi, for those of you who don't know me," said a boy with silvery blonde hair and glasses. "I'm a senior, and—"

He had been cut off by Mr. Hatake, who was standing in the door. "Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?"

"Nothing much," said a girl with dark hair up in two buns.

"We were just saying we're going to take these freshmen to a party so they can loosen up with us," announced a pale boy who was wearing, for some reason unbeknownst to Naruto, lipstick.

"I didn't say anything about a party," protested Kabuto, looking to Mr. Orochimaru for guidance.

"Well, Sakon did," said Tayuya, "so we're going to a goddamn party. There's a good one over in Suna."

"Ah," said Mr. Hatake, and began to read his orange book.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," said Ms. Yuuhi. What she did not say was _I know how high school parties tend to go_, but Naruto could see she wanted to.

"Ah, Kurenai, let them go if they want to," said Asuma. "As long as none of you have massive hangovers in class tomorrow, I see no problem with having a little fun."

"Asuma, you are the coolest teacher in this school, excepting Mr. Orochimaru, of course," said Sakon, grinning a lipsticky smile.

"No, excepting Mr. Maito!" said Lee.

"Lee! Your youthful loyalty to your coach brings me to tears!" Several students, including Naruto, rolled their eyes. It didn't take a genius to predict what was coming next.

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

While this was going on, Bun-girl snuck up to the chalkboard and drew a large sunset behind Lee and Mr. Maito. Most of the students laughed, and Naruto slapped her a high-five as she walked back to her seat.

"Those of you who are not enthralled by visions of youthful splendor may leave now," said Mr. Hatake, looking up from his book for about a second.

"Yeah! Party!" yelled Naruto, scrambling out the door.

.oOo.

The window of the spare bedroom of the Yamanaka house was open, and Ino groaned. It was a long weekend at Akatsuki, wasn't it? That meant Deidara was here. Ino was supposed to be prepping for a party, and she didn't want to deal with her cousin right now.

In the foyer of the house, she was accosted by the artist himself. "Ino! It's great to see you, yeah." Deidara wrapped his arms, still in an Akatsuki College Prep uniform, around his cousin's neck in a very tight hug.

"You're getting clay on my clothes," said Ino, trying to shove past him and get up the stairs to the shower. "I have a party to go to" slipped out before she could think of who she was talking to.

Deidara released Ino from his stranglehold. "A party? You mean that one over in Suna, yeah? That's going to be awesome, yeah. The cops over there have bigger things to worry about than a bunch of teenagers and some spiked punch, yeah. It'll be all explosions and _art_. Let's carpool, Ino, yeah!" Ino groaned. She _definitely_ didn't want to deal with her cousin right now.

"Sure, Deidara, whatever. I have to take a shower." But he had already scampered up the stairs and locked himself in the spare bedroom, humming loudly.

.oOo.

Shikamaru had no intention of going to the party. Socializing was too troublesome to be bothered with, and finding suitable clothes even more so. What he really wanted to do was lie on his back and look at the clouds through his skylight. When his mother made him do his homework, he'd do it (because arguing was too troublesome,) and eventually he'd fall asleep. It was what he did every night.

But at eight-o-clock, someone knocked impatiently on the door. "Get that, Shikamaru!" his mother screeched, and he reluctantly dragged himself down the stairs and opened the door, if only to stop the incessant pounding.

He was met with a bouncing figure in bright orange. "Get in Sakon's car!" it yelled, then grabbed his arm and dragged him down the lawn. Shikamaru considered saying something about kidnapping, but it would be far too troublesome. He settled for a dull "What?" as he was shoved through the door of an ancient hippie van.

"Team socializing, remember?" said the person in the driver's seat. "It's mandatory." Judging by the lipstick, this was Sakon. "He's the last one, right, Kidoumaru?"

"Yep." Kidoumaru, the guy in the passenger seat, nodded. "Welcome to our parlor."

"…said the spider to the fly," Shikamaru muttered.

.oOo.

"You look like a goddamn punk," said Baki. Temari said nothing. "Go up and change. Can't you even dress right?"

"You're talking to my sister," said Gaara calmly. Temari hadn't seen or heard him arrive, but he was standing behind her and she was grateful for it.

It was amazing, Temari thought, how Baki's personality did a one-eighty when her little brother showed up. "Oh, hey, Gaara. How's it going, dude?" Gaara simply nodded rather than jumping for the older boy's throat. At least Gaara seemed to like Baki, which was more than could be said for any of Temari's previous boyfriends.

The outfit was not commented on any more as Baki walked Temari out to his car. "Do you think it's okay for us to leave Gaara alone? Kankurou's not home," he said.

"Yeah, he'll be fine," said Temari. "He's fourteen now, and he's a tough kid."

.oOo.

Ino was more than ready for the party. With enough pleading on her part ("Please, Daddy, I'm done with my homework. C'mon, Daddy, I won't get in trouble.") and vows of responsibility on Deidara's ("I'll take care of your daughter, Uncle Inoichi, yeah."), her father had caved and allowed her to go. Now all she needed was a ride. Deidara had a license, but Ino wouldn't trust him anywhere near the wheel. She called her friends, but none of them picked up.

She was on the verge of caving and letting Deidara take her parents' car when a hippie van pulled up, driven by Tayuya. Unlike Sakon, she hadn't bothered to try and scrape the paint off, so the thing was one giant lime-green exaltation of peace, love, and recreational drug usage.

"Get in the car, freshie," yelled the driver, her pink hair clashing violently with the vehicle. Ino clambered in, noticing Sasuke and Sakura, along with Lee and a few more upperclassmen she didn't know yet.

She looked out the window and saw Deidara, trying very hard to look like a sad abandoned puppy on the lawn. _Making me feel guilty?_ She sighed. "Do we have room for one more?"

"No way in hell," said Tayuya. "It's gonna be cramped as it is." Deidara, having sensed an opportunity, was now making his puppy face over by the window.

"Dude, she's hot. Can we take her?" asked one of the upperclassmen, a guy with spiky brown hair and a shirt that said 'death' on it in kanji. (Despite her blonde hair and blue contacts, Ino was proud of her Japanese heritage and was learning the language.)

"He's a guy," she informed the boy.

"Well, he's hot," said the upperclassman, shrugging. "Please, Tayuya?"

"What the hell. Fine. Someone gets a lap dance. Let's just go."

Sakura made it to Sasuke's lap before Ino did, and smirked the entire rest of the trip.

.oOo.

Both vans made it to an abandoned storefront in Suna at last, unloading the entire Academic Team of Konoha High onto the pavement. They were parked far away, but Naruto could hear the music from here.

"All right. There are a few ground rules for this team field trip," said Sakon.

"Rules? I thought this was a party!" said Naruto, outraged. What kind of a party had _rules_?

"Shut the hell up and let the faggot talk," said Tayuya.

Sakon grinned wickedly. "They are: stay conscious, always knock on closets, don't get in fights with any of the Suna kids, and party your mind out."

"Oh yeah, and Sakon is legal as of yesterday, so you can call statutory on him if you want," added Kidoumaru. Catching a lipsticked glare, he added, "But he likes older men, so you're probably safe. Just be careful around those closets."

There was a brief awkward silence in which the group (especially the guys) contemplated this and Sakon fumed. Naruto hated awkward silences. "Party!" he yelled, running toward the source of the music.

"Yeah!" added Deidara.

"Troublesome," said Shikamaru. It was going to be a long night.


	4. Destitution

Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto. No soy Kishimoto. 

**A/N:** Whee. Party chapter. Because every high school fic has to have a party chapter. But mine has DEIDARA in it, causing chaos, which makes it awesomer than the others. Review, kthxbai, un.

More heavy pairing implication! THEY'RE NOT FINAL I TELL YOU! (Unless they are.)

Thank you to Fate and nailpolishedheart for reviewing this. I love reviews. :) (hint hint subtle hint)

**Chapter 4: Destitution**

Tayuya decided within the first five minutes that Suna parties sucked. They had no decent beer, the music was too loud, and the marijuana smoke was even thicker here because everyone in Suna was on drugs, rather than just most of them like in Konoha.

So she got completely drunk and made out with Sakon, which was definitely (in retrospect) a very bad idea but seemed like a decent one at the time because part of him was straight and she was drunk and his lipstick tasted better than their shitty beer and she was bored and why the hell not?

Afterwards, she caught her breath and straightened her shirt and wiped off her mouth and went to get another beer, shit or not.

.oOo.

Sakura would have never had admitted this to anybody, but this was her first high school party and she was scared stiff. She'd tried to dance, but nobody seemed to be dancing, really, and stopped after only a minute or so. The punch tasted funny, and she knew from bad movies about high school that it was spiked.

Sakura would have never admitted this to Ino especially (the girl had probably been going to high school parties since she was in junior high), but she wanted to go home. But unless she found someone else she knew who had a car, she was well and truly trapped.

Still, there was someone who appeared even more petrified than Sakura felt, and that was Hinata Hyuuga. She had pressed herself into the wall, her pale eyes fixed on Naruto and Kiba, who were engaged in what appeared to be a drinking contest. _Idiots_, Sakura thought disparagingly.

God, but she was ready to _leave_. Fighting back tears, she went to look for Sasuke.

.oOo.

Sasuke was probably more bored than he'd ever been in his life. Even here, where he was some anonymous fourteen-year-old face in a crowd, girls glommed onto him. Here, they practically fell on top of him because they were so drunk or stoned or high. They'd fight each other to try to get to him.

It was disgusting, really, and annoying. For once in his life, couldn't he be left alone?

.oOo.

Ino hoped Deidara wasn't doing anything stupid. She hadn't seen her cousin since he'd dashed in here, and it was unwise to leave Deidara alone for any period of time exceeding three seconds. Sure, the time was crawling by, but she was pretty sure it'd been longer than that.

"Stop staring at my chest," she told Shikamaru irritably, crossing her arms over the lacy (and low) neckline of her purple tank top. He was standing next to her, watching the people through the haze of smoke and not looking anywhere near her, but she needed to snap at something.

"I'm not," he replied, still not looking at her. "Unless you've managed to project it onto the opposite wall of the room, in which case, yes, I am."

Ino smacked him on his head (which he didn't even turn) and stormed off to find someone more responsive. She didn't see Tayuya stumble over and attempt to suck Shikamaru's face off.

.oOo.

Temari did. To be fair, it was kind of hard to miss when she was standing five feet away and scanning the room for Baki. At that point, she knew neither Tayuya nor Shikamaru, but she did know that here was a boy Gaara's age and here was a girl older than her and obviously so drunk she could barely walk, and here the other was kissing the one passionately on the lips, and here was something obviously nonconsensual.

_This is because I never want that happening to Gaara,_ she told herself, and yelled, "Hey, bitch! Get off him!"

The pink-haired girl looked up and focused somewhere to Temari's left, then somewhere to her right, and finally somewhere in the region of her face. "Who…the fu…d'you thing…y'arr?" she slurred.

"Shut up and get someone to take you home," said Temari, pulling the older girl off the boy. On closer inspection, he looked absolutely nothing like Gaara, but few people did. "You, kid, you all right?"

"How troublesome. I didn't need to be helped by a girl. And you are scary."

Temari was shocked speechless. But only for a second. "You ungrateful…! I won't save your ass the next time you get raped, how about that?" She grabbed him by the front of his jacket, ripping the fabric slightly, and yanked him towards her, about to scream in his ear or slap him across the face or something.

"Who the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

Temari dropped the kid and wondered if she should turn around.

Baki.

Shit.

.oOo.

Temari, having saved Shikamaru, was saved herself by the small explosion in the back of the room.

"Art," Deidara said happily, "is a _bang_."

Chaos ensued, and Baki, like everybody else there, was more focused on getting out the door than yelling at his girlfriend.

Ino completely lost it. Forget the cool-girl persona. Forget impressing Sasuke. "DEIDARA YAMANAKA, YOU ARE FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF DEAD AS SOON AS I FIND YOU!"


	5. Repercussions

Disclaimer: i dont own naurto lololololollo!!!11!!2!!! 

Every time I type like that, I die a little inside.

**A/N:** We're getting slightly more serious here, with a tantalizing bit of insight into Tayuya, Naruto, and the sand sibs' past. This chapter contains mild character spoilers if you only watch the anime, but nothing too extreme, and Deidara's already showed up here anyway. Akatsuki is too awesome to resist. If you think you need a better knowledge of the characters to understand this chapter, say so in your review and I'll be happy to reply with a short non-spoilery summary of each character.

No, I don't think Kin looks like the girl from the Ring. But Naruto does. :P

I love Team Gai. And Akatsuki. But modern!Neji characterization is really really hard.

**Chapter 5: Repercussions**

Temari was in a foul mood when she arrived at the apartment. Baki had run like hell for his car and left her to fend for herself in the mob. She'd had to run when the police arrived, and then when she lost them it started to rain. By the time she got someplace dry (namely the stairwell), she was saturated. Her purple dress was ruined and goddammit, she really, really wanted to yell at Kankurou right now.

"Yo! Bastard!" she yelled, slamming open the door. "Get me a towel!"

"What am I, the hired help?" her little brother complained from his room. "Get your own damn towel." Still, she heard the sounds of a large and half-asleep body clambering out of bed, and a bleary-eyed Kankurou opened the door to his tiny room. "I was just getting to sleep, too. What happened to you? Fall in the lake?"

"Shut the hell—"

"You shouldn't yell. Gaara's trying to sleep."

Immediately, Temari's voice dropped several decibels. "—up. Jerk. Tell me that earlier next time." It was too late, however, as Gaara himself was standing in the doorway, a large teddy bear in his thin arms. Gaara was the only fourteen-year-old she knew that still slept with a stuffed animal. She supposed it was excused in his case, though…

.oOo.

"How are you, Naruto?" asked Iruka, his father (of sorts). "Did you and your friends like the movie?"

Naruto nodded. He wasn't the best liar in the world, but he was enthusiastic about it. "It was awesome! There were all these purple clouds, and then the girl from the Ring cut off someone's hair, and then this dude with this weird tattoo broke this other dude's arms, and there was a lot of blood in it too!"

"I'm happy you had fun," said Iruka. If Naruto was a bad liar, Iruka fell for it every time.

Sometimes Iruka worried about Naruto's love of horror movies. He'd tried to tell himself it was just paranoia, that every boy that age was obsessed with blood and guts, but it never worked. Not with who Naruto was.

_Look on the bright side_, Iruka told himself. _Naruto's finally got himself some friends and that much real benefit is bound to outweigh your imaginary cost._

"Hey, Iruka," said Naruto, looking up at the ceiling. "Did you know my parents?"

"I met them a few times, yeah. Why?"

Naruto wasn't really sure why he'd asked. He'd just thought about them, if they'd be proud of him for making the team and angry at him for lying, and he didn't remember them and just wanted to know. "I dunno," he said. "No reason. Was my dad as much of a stud as I am?"

Iruka grinned. "He was very popular with the ladies. So I'd say yeah."

"Well then I'm going to be even more popular than him!" Naruto announced proudly. "Hey, Iruka, was my mom hot?"

Iruka evaded Naruto's gaze. Was that the sort of question you were supposed to ask about your dead mother? Iruka didn't think he'd ask it about his, but then, he'd known her. He still felt that stabby feeling in his chest whenever he thought about his parents, which he'd been doing a lot recently.

"Of course," he said.

.oOo.

Tayuya, to put it as plainly as possible, felt like shit. Every time she went to a party, she magically forgot how much hangovers sucked. She groaned and rubbed her throbbing head.

What had she done last night that she'd regret today? She couldn't remember much beyond the first couple cups of punch, but knowing herself, it probably involved a guy.

She was trying to change, but it was so damn _hard._

.oOo.

When Deidara Yamanaka arrived at Akatsuki College Prep on Sunday night, his roommate Sasori shoved a newspaper in his face.

"Hey," he said indignantly, "can't a guy even put his bags down without being attacked, yeah?"

"You made the papers," said Sasori. "Thought you'd want to see."

Deidara's mood shifted instantly. "I did?" he squealed. "My first big break, yeah! You should have seen it, Sasori; it was all red and orange and then the screaming and everything, it was _art_. 'Explosion at Suna Party: Police Say Miracle None Killed.' It's not a miracle, yeah! That was planned carefully!" (from resentment to glee and back to resentment)

"Deidara." Sasori said the name slowly, letting each letter drip off his tongue. Deidara stopped mid-rant and turned to look at his roommate, who was sitting on his bed and carving a small piece of wood. "That's not art. That's random violence."

"It is _so_ art!" yelled Deidara, dropping his suitcase on his foot in his anger. "_That_ isn't!" He pointed at the piece of wood under Sasori's knife, his finger shaking with rage. This was a familiar argument between the two of them, and one that had yet to be resolved.

"Look at this, Deidara." Sasori held up his carving, which appeared to be of an eagle spreading its wings. "Fifty years from now, I can give this to my kids and it will still be beautiful and they'll still be able to see it and touch it and tell it's a bird. That's art. Art is eternal."

"It's not art if all it does is stay the same, yeah. That's boring. When something explodes—"

Deidara didn't get the chance to explain what happened when something explodes, though, because the door was opened by a tall boy with oddly bluish skin and hair dyed to match.

"Team meeting, gentlemen," he said. "My room, because Sir Leader, Blue, and Flytrap are out on a senior trip. That means Weasel-boy and I have the most seniority right now!" He seemed excited by this prospect, for some reason. "Hey, Shorty, when does Hidan get back from his prayer meeting?"

_Kisame hardly has a right to call anyone 'Blue',_ thought Deidara, as Sasori said, "You know I hate it when you call me that." Kisame had the habit of giving anyone he spent much time with a nickname, because he was 'bad with names.' Deidara didn't get how the nicknames were any easier to remember, since half of them seemed to be completely random (Why was Zetsu 'Flytrap,' for example?), but he dismissed it as an odd quirk of Kisame's otherwise perfectly nice and rational mind.

"Fine. _Sasori_, when does Hidan get back from his prayer meeting?"

"He's back right now," replied Sasori. "He spent a good half-hour in here trying to convert me."

"Great. I'll go get him. See you two at the meeting. The Miser and the Weasel are already there." Kisame shut the door politely, leaving Sasori to his carving and Deidara to clutching his foot in agony.

The roommates glanced at each other, then stood up simultaneously and left for the meeting. Deidara exaggerated a limp, trying to draw an apology (which was, of course, futile); Sasori muttered something that sounded very much like 'drama queen' under his breath.

.oOo.

On Monday, Naruto found it harder to concentrate than usual, which was saying something. But he was excited, because it was his first team practice. He'd beat Sasuke, and then he'd show Sakura what he could do, and then she would fall at his feet and proclaim she'd loved him all along!

First, though, Mr. Hatake had to show up. He was late. Naruto was missing _lunch_ for this, which meant it was very very important. Mr. Hatake absolutely could not be late. (Admittedly, Naruto was not starving to death. He had three cups of ramen to keep him company. But he could be eating alone in the cafeteria rather than eating in here with Sasuke.)

He was just resigning himself to being bored out of his skull when two heads poked in the door. One had an unmistakably shiny bowl cut, and the other a pair of buns.

"Is Hatake late again?" asked Bun-girl. "Oh, poor freshmen. Can we adopt them, Neji? Please?" In the hallway, a third person grunted. "That means yes," she said, with a gleam in her eye Naruto hoped was not sadistic.

"Truly, my lady Sakura, you are radiant at this lunch break!" cried Lee, jumping into the room with a youthful explosion. Sakura took several steps back, using Naruto's orange sweatshirt as a shield.

"Who _are_ you people?" she asked, looking mostly at Lee, but with a couple fearful glances directed at Bun-girl and the third member of the group, a sullen-looking boy with dark hair and very pale eyes.

"Yeah, really!" added Naruto, slurping some more ramen. Sasuke said nothing, only regarded the scene over the top of his pale hands.

"You don't know the Sophomore Squad?" asked Bun-girl, putting a hand to her chest in mock horror. "Neji, can you believe this? They don't know the Sophomore Squad."

"Hn."

"We are the Sophomore Squad, the most youthful and energetic of teams!" announced Lee, bowing. "Rock Lee!"

"Meitian-Liu-but-call-me-Tenten!"

There was a moment of silence before Meitian-Liu-but-call-her-Tenten poked the last boy in the ribs. "Neji Hyuuga," he said grudgingly.

The room went very quiet as the freshmen considered this and two out of three sophomores looked pleased with themselves. Something concerned Naruto, and it wasn't the fact that the Sophomore Squad seemed to be sharing a sanity. "We're freshmen," he said finally.

"What?" The Sophomore Squad didn't seem to be used to this type of reply to their display, or any reply besides tactful silence.

"You can't be the most youthful of teams if we're freshmen. We're younger than you. So we're more youthful, right? Unless you all skipped two grades or something."

Lee looked as if his very existence had been challenged. A wide grin was spreading across Tenten's face. Naruto couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Neji smile.

"We can adopt them," the Hyuuga said, and was promptly given a thumbs-up, a hearty slap on the back and a shout of 'My eternal rival has spoken! The Sophomore Squad has reached an agreement!' (Lee), and a 'Yippee!' and ridiculously tight hug (Tenten). Naruto was surprised the boy hadn't asphyxiated, and then proud his reading of two pages in the dictionary had paid off. How did you ever learn a word like 'asphyxiated' any other way?


	6. Using the Gifts

Disclaimer: Kishimoto. Naruto. Ownership. Penty. Which one doesn't belong?

**A/N: **Reviews appreciated. Come on, I know more than three people have read this fic.

**Chapter 6: Using the Gifts**

"Hello," said Mr. Hatake, strolling in with his usual bright orange book in hand.

"You're late!" Naruto yelled, pointing his chopsticks at the teacher.

"I'm afraid I got lost on the road of life."

"What kind of excuse is that?" asked Sakura, sounding almost as angry as Naruto. Then she looked over at Sasuke, as if she was worried or something. _Why does she need validation from that jerk anyway?_ Naruto wondered, but he had no answer.

Mr. Hatake shrugged, then turned his attention to the Sophomore Squad. "Tenten, you're strangling Neji. And all three of you are interrupting my practice."

Tenten let go of her teammate, Neji rubbed his neck, and Lee exclaimed, "THAT REACTION WAS EXTREMELY HIP AND COOL, MAKING YOU FIT TO BE MR. MAITO'S ETERNAL RIVAL!"

"We know, Lee," said Tenten. "C'mon, let's go get some lunch before we have to run to drama."

"Yosh! Lunch! Come with us, eternal rival!" Tenten and Lee each grabbed one of Neji's arms and then nearly skipped in the direction of the cafeteria. Naruto felt sorry for Neji, even though he would probably have done something similar himself.

"Right. Now that distraction has left the room, I'd like to get to know my team a little better. First off, call me Kakashi. Then…I don't know, say something about yourself."

"Me first!" said Naruto. He'd impress Sakura and beat Sasuke with his stunning personality. "Kakashi! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I'm fourteen, I like ramen, and my dream is to be really really awesome!" Top _that_, Sasuke.

Mr. Hatake—er, Kakashi—raised his visible eyebrow and said, "Okay, Sakura, you next."

Now was Naruto's chance. He'd learn about Sakura and then impress her with his knowledge of her stunning personality. He listened attentively as she began, "I'm Sakura Haruno, I'm also fourteen, I like…well, not so much a thing as a person, really," here she blushed and looked sideways at Sasuke (and here Naruto felt that familiar wrenching in his gut he knew as jealousy), "and my dream is to get that person to notice me."

Well, _that_ was just wonderful. _Way to break my heart,_ thought Naruto sadly. She didn't just like Sasuke, she was obsessed with him. She probably had Sasuke wallpaper and Sasuke bedsheets and Sasuke underwear…Ew. Naruto really didn't need that mental image.

Thankfully, it was wiped from his mind by the voice of the jerk himself. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I'm fourteen but I don't see how it really matters, there isn't a lot I like, and my dream is to get revenge on a certain person."

"Ah," Kakashi said , and began to read.

"Don't just ignore us like that!" said Naruto, all thoughts of Sakura's underwear now banished from his mind.

Kakashi looked up from his book. "Fine, have a worksheet. Try to finish it by next practice. You're dismissed, because I want to get some quality reading done."

"What's that book about, anyway? He's always reading that thing," Naruto complained as the three exited the classroom. "Is it really so interesting?"

"Probably smut," said Sasuke.

"Oh," said Naruto, not expecting such a frank reply.

There wasn't much point in going to lunch, since it would be over in another five minutes. Instead, Naruto went to his locker to find his history book. Sasuke and Sakura apparently had to get books for their next classes too, since they were heading to the same wing with all the freshman lockers and it wasn't like either of them would follow him for the sheer pleasure of his company. Along the way, they saw Kabuto with a roll of posters under his arm and a huge roll of tape in his hand. Naruto wondered about that, but didn't say anything to Kabuto, who he didn't know too well. He thought it might be for Student Council or something; he seemed to remember Kabuto's face from something like that.

"What was he carrying?" asked Naruto, more to break the awkward silence than out of curiosity.

"I bet they're posters for Homecoming," said Sakura, her eyes moving towards Sasuke.

"Oh," said Naruto, feeling déjà vu. "Hey, Sakura, will you—"

"There's my locker I have to get my math book see you guys later!" said Sakura, practically running down the hallway. She left Naruto gaping and Sasuke with a bit of a smirk on his face.

"What's so funny?" demanded Naruto of his teammate.

"Hn," said Sasuke (which wasn't much of a response) before veering off down a different hallway. Luckily, their lockers weren't assigned alphabetically, or else Naruto would see a lot more of Sasuke.

The inside of Naruto's locker had seen better days, and they were the first day of school. It was a mess of papers and books and old homework assignments and socks. The only thing positive you could really say about it was that it didn't smell terrible; Naruto never had any leftover food to let rot inside. Iruka had told him on multiple occasions to clean it out, but Naruto didn't have any problems navigating the clutter. After less than a second of pushing stuff out of the way (including the biology homework he thought he'd forgotten at home) he located his history book, his history assignment, his Japanese book, and his gym bag so he wouldn't have to go to his locker for a whole three periods.

_Sakura hasn't technically rejected me yet_, Naruto realized as he was walking to history. It was true. _All she did was run off to get her books. Maybe she's in advanced math in a different part of the building and has to run to class from her locker and the next time I see her she'll tell me she'd love to go to Homecoming with me._ This thought, however unlikely, cheered him up quite a bit, and he was whistling by the time he entered his classroom.

.oOo.

Shikamaru could tell already that he would hate high school. His mother had forced him to take the placement tests for advanced classes, and of course he'd passed them easily. (He could have failed on purpose, of course, but she would have found out and given him hell for it.) That meant now he was trudging across the building to Honors Trigonometry instead of taking Algebra I like any normal freshman. That would be enough trouble, but his mom had to go further in her campaign to turn her lazy son into a high achiever.

She'd recommended him for Academic Team, and he'd gotten in. At least he was on a team with Chouji, but they'd had to stick him with Ino too. If there was a more troublesome girl in the entire school, he didn't know her. Practice had been awful, and he didn't want to dwell on it more than he had to. Suffice it to say that Ino, a born cheerleader, had taken it upon herself to motivate her teammates, and that her form of motivation seemed to involve lots of shouts of 'Go, Shikamaru! Go, Chouji! Come _on_, if I were on a team with Sasuke we'd be done with this worksheet by now!"

Mondays were going to suck a lot more from now on. Actually, the next four years were going to suck a lot more from now on.

Shikamaru looked up at the door he was standing in front of. How troublesome. He'd overshot his math classroom by six doors because he was thinking about his crappy day. Sighing to himself, he walked back. There was a poster on the wall advertising Homecoming, and this merited another mental sigh. This would make Ino even more giddy and annoying in her Sasuke obsession, wouldn't it? He slumped past the poster into class, where another day of total boredom awaited him.


	7. Using the Gifted

Disclaimer: I own neither _Naruto_ nor _Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day._

**A/N:** Basically, their math classes go like this: Algebra I, Geometry, Algebra II, one semester each of trig and precalc, calculus, and then being bussed to the nearby university for math. It's probably totally irrelevant, but if you want to know, there it is.

Excuse my terrible Japanese. I'm taking Spanish. And excuse my total lack of volleyball knowledge. I'm going by the rules I played by in middle school, which are quite possibly wrong. If you spot any errors with either, please tell me so I can correct them.

Review me. One half of a review per chapter is just sad, yeah.

**Chapter 7: Using the Gifted**

Sasuke wanted some peace and quiet. After the Homecoming posters had gone up, he'd been asked to the dance by what seemed like every girl in the school. They had (in some cases literally) tripped over each other to get to him. He was afraid that after a few days of this, he'd lose all his vocabulary except the word 'no.'

"Impressive," remarked Haku as they walked to Honors Algebra II together. "How many times do you think you've been asked now?"

"No, I will not go to the dance with you, no, I will not go to the dance with your friend Angelina, no, I will not go to the dance with your friend Angelina's sister, no, I will not go the dance with your friend Angelina's sister's girlfriend—if your friend Angelina's sister has a girlfriend, why does she want to go with me in the first place? Sorry, Haku, did you say something?"

"How many times do you think you've been asked now?" Haku repeated.

"Counting those four, seventy-two. No, I don't care how hot she is, I'm not interested! Stop laughing, Haku."

"Sorry."

Outside the classroom, Sasuke stopped dead. Haku nearly bumped into him. "Sakura's in that class," said Sasuke, with a growing look of dread on his face.

"Is that bad?" asked Haku.

"No, she's only the vice president of my fanclub, that's all," Sasuke snapped in return. "Nothing at all wrong with—" He was cut off by a certain peach-haired fangirl.

"Sasuke! Do you want to go to Homecoming with me?" Sasuke was about to respond with his usual 'no,' when Haku cut in.

"Oh, I'm _so _sorry," he said in a very convincing falsetto, "but Sasuke-darling is already going with me. Maybe next time?" As he spoke, his stance and hand gestures seemed to get..._feminine_. Both Sasuke and Sakura could do nothing but stare.

Finally, Sakura managed a strangled "Oh" and nearly ran down the hallway.

.oOo.

Ino was reading out loud in Japanese class when her phone began to vibrate against her leg. "Ja ne, Kaoru-chan," she finished quickly, then flipped her phone open in her desk to prevent Ms. Yuuhi from hearing the soft buzzing. It was a text message from Angelina, titled 'sasuke'. She opened it, then immediately wished she hadn't. It read: _ino sakura tld me sas is goin to hc w some weird soph._

"Wha—er, nani?" Ino said, rather too loudly.

"Something wrong, Ino?" asked Ms. Yuuhi.

"Ah, no. I didn't hear what Naruto said, that's all." _Crap,_ she thought. _That was really close._

"Ramen wa doko?" Naruto repeated proudly.

"Arigatou, Naruto-kun," she said (attempting to keep the desire to roll her eyes controlled), then returned her attention to her phone. Keeping her eyes fixed on Naruto, who was blabbering away about ramen, she texted Angelina back: _details!_

.oOo.

Mr. Hatake's English I classes were reading and writing dramatic dialogues for their unit on plays. Privately, Sakura thought he was having them do this so he could sit around at his desk and read smut. 'This' was an exercise in the art of drama, or so he said. Pairs of students had to act out the dialogues they'd written earlier in the class period. Sakura was paired with Hinata Hyuuga, and was quickly learning that the girl had no stage presence at all (hardly surprising). And now they were up to perform Sakura's dialogue for the class.

"I don't understand how you could have done this to me!" said Sakura, putting a heavy sob into her voice as she spoke. "I thought I was something special to you, something more. I thought we had a future together, even if you never said it. Why did you do it? Why?"

"Please," said Hinata quietly. _Speak up!_ Sakura admonished in her mind. _Hatake can't hear you like that!_ "Please, don't be mad at me."

"How can I not?" sobbed Sakura. "Who is she to you? Is she really that good of a friend? Do you really care that much more about her than you do about me?"

"She's no more to me than you are," replied Hinata softly. She was all wrong for the part of Sasu—the man. Maybe Sakura should have played him instead, but that would have totally defeated her purpose, which was to vent her frustration. If only Hinata were more…vent-able.

"What is that? Nothing?" asked Sakura, and then for a final touch fell down on her knees to end the scene.

There was a polite smattering of applause from their classmates before Mr. Hatake (was she supposed to call him Kakashi in class?) put down his orange book and began to talk. "Hinata, I'm afraid I didn't hear a word you said. And Sakura, do you think you could take it once more without feeling?" Several people giggled at this, and Hinata went red.

"Well, you try performing any other way when the love of your life ditches you for another girl," said Sakura haughtily, and then went back to her seat.

"I will certainly try," said Mr. Hatake, "though that would be rather difficult as she's dead."

.oOo.

A few minutes later, when it was her turn to read again, Ino's phone went off inside her desk. Angelina really did have impeccable timing. "Ja ne, Kaoru-chan," she said to finish off the dialogue, then opened her phone. "_sakura freaked out in class told every1. no dirt on girl sas is going w sry._" Ino frowned. Nothing at all? That was impossible. This was high school. There was dirt on _everyone_. Ino would get to the bottom of this, and then she'd form a plan of action. If she could intimidate Shikamaru into helping her, that would be good. With his brain and her talent with people, Operation Eliminate Date would be quite a success.

Ino was so busy planning her strategy that Ms. Yuuhi had to call on her four times before she jumped three inches in her seat and began to read again.

.oOo.

"You do realize there is absolutely no way I could go to Homecoming with a guy," said Sasuke as he and Haku left math with considerably more homework than was strictly necessary.

"Ah," said Haku, shifting the stack of books in his arms to a more comfortable position. "I wasn't suggesting you actually go with me, you know. May I ask why you're going in the first place? You're not exactly the dance type."

Sasuke looked off at the mass of people to his left. "Mostly it's because of my family, I guess. I kind of have a reputation to uphold for them, and the dance is just part of it." The dance was only a very small part of it, of course. Mostly it was about Itachi. _Itachi_ had gone with a pretty sophomore girl to Homecoming his freshman year. _Itachi_ had been that perfectly desirable mix of popular and standoffish. _Itachi_ had done it (for whatever reason), so Sasuke had to do it better. He was pretty sure that going to the dance with a boy, however effeminate, did not count.

"Ah," said Haku again, and did not elaborate. Instead, he veered off to his locker. Sasuke himself had to nearly wade through the masses of fangirls who had not yet heard the 'bad news' to get to his locker, grab his gym bag, and head to the locker room on the other side of the school. Then he remembered that Sakura and Ino, the two people he least wanted to deal with, were in his gym class. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

.oOo.

"We are playing _volleyball_ today," announced Ms. Mitarashi to the assortment of students in gym uniforms lined up in front of her. "Anyone who managed to escape playing in junior high will just have to tough their way through it this time." With this she looked at Shikamaru, who had gotten out of three days of calisthenics by saying that he'd never learned how to do them properly and had to pick them up by observing his classmates. "Kiba, Ino, you get to be captains. Kiba will choose first, and Ino's team will serve first. Go!" With that, she settled down on the bleachers with a stick of dango in her hand.

"We get Sasuke," said Kiba, although whether he was doing this out of appreciation for Sasuke's playing or simply to spite Ino was uncertain.

Ino tossed her blonde ponytail and glared at Kiba. "Julia," she said, naming a friend of hers who was on the volleyball team.

Naruto was impatient. When were they going to pick him? He was actually good at volleyball, too. But the two captains continued firing off names, none of which were his, until there were only four people waiting to be chosen. Nobody here was much of a surprise, since the final four consisted of: 1) Naruto, who was almost universally looked down upon, 2) Hinata, who flinched at the mere sight of a ball heading in her direction, 3) Sakura, who tried hard but seemed to have never learned about hand-eye coordination, and 4) Shikamaru, who was more likely to be sleeping standing up than actually playing.

Kiba regarded the remaining choices and finally said, "Shikamaru," no doubt hoping that he would stay awake and devise some brilliant volleyball strategy.

"Naruto," Ino countered, and he leaped up and over to his new team. They regarded him oddly, but Naruto was more than used to that by now and paid them no mind. What did he care? (Quite a lot, actually.) He'd show them how good he was, and he'd beat Sasuke's team single-handedly, and Sakura would finally acknowledge him.

"Hinata," said Kiba.

"Get over here, Forehead," said Ino, and the teams were chosen.

Through a mouthful of dango, Ms. Mitarashi said, "All right, captains, pick four people to sit out; we're playing six-on-six. Decide an order to sub people in, so everyone gets a chance to make a fool of themselves out there. Then play."

Ino immediately took charge, a situation Naruto supposed wasn't too unnatural for her. "Our starting lineup will be me, of course, Julia, Nick, Sasame, Joel, and Lianna. When it's time, the person standing in the last spot will sub out and one of our other people will come in and serve. Got that?" Nobody asked any questions, so Ino took that as a yes and took her spot as first server. "Zero serving zero!" she yelled, and then hit the ball.

Sasuke batted it over the net easily, barely lifting a finger. "Go Sasuke!" shouted Sakura from the sidelines, which prompted Joel to ask "Whose side are you on, anyway?" before spiking the ball. Kiba dove for it but missed, and Team Naruto had scored its first point. The game continued in this manner until Sasame hit the ball into the net, and Naruto sensed his chance to show off his stuff.

"Me first!" said Naruto as he ran for the serving line (a scene that sounded like it could have come out of the lunchroom on Ramen Day). Nobody bothered to object, so he took his position and waited for Hinata to serve.

"One serving five," she said quietly, and then attempted a serve. It flew some distance, but didn't quite clear the net, and Chouji tossed the ball to Naruto. "Sorry," he could hear Hinata muttering to Kiba.

"Yeah! Six serving one!" Naruto's serve was one of his better ones, and the white ball glided over the net and into the path of Sasuke Uchiha. Who did that annoying half-hit and sent the ball back to Naruto.

"I can beat you! And I'm gonna make you actually try!" yelled Naruto, and returned the ball with a loud smack.

Then all hell broke loose. Even though the ball was clearly headed for Kiba, Sasuke dashed over to it and whacked it back to Naruto, who spiked it back, and so on and so forth.

Ino picked at her lavender nail polish idly (she'd stopped using purple ever since Deidara stole her bottle for his own nefarious purposes) while she waited for the battle to finish. Shikamaru muttered a "how troublesome" under his breath. Ms. Mitarashi wasn't doing anything to stop the battle, just eating her dango, and the rest of the class was bored stiff.

"Hurry it up already!" said Kiba. "Some of the rest of us want to play too!"

His only response was a quick glare from Sasuke before the other boy returned to his heated match.

Finally, after a good five minutes of passing the ball between Naruto and Sasuke, Naruto got in a really really good hit. Victory was his! The ball arced through the air, headed for a spot on the opposite side of the court from Sasuke. Shikamaru, who was supposed to be covering that position, made no move to intercept its flight. Was he even awake?

Sasuke was fast, but not quite fast enough. The ball hit the ground before he could get a hand on it.

Unfortunately for Naruto, this happened out of bounds.

"Point to Sasuke!" shouted Ms. Mitarashi, eating her last dango.

What? How had Sasuke gotten that point? When Naruto was clearly the superior player? "Dammit, Sasuke!" he yelled, to which Ino tartly responded, "Shut up and get your head in the game."


	8. Hormonal Imbalance

Disclaimer: I refuse to write a disclaimer more interesting than 'Kishimoto owns Naruto'.

**A/N:** Konohamaru reminds me of Uo-chan's groupies from Fruits Basket. I luff him. :D

Kankurou doesn't get enough character development, and he is awesome. Hence I turn him into a middle-child uke-type…what is wrong with me? D:

I made Sasori and Itachi so _weird_. Well…they are weird. But…a different kind of weird.

Lee is not necessarily gay just because he wears spandex and likes chick-flicks.

Reviews make me happy!

**Chapter 8: Hormonal Imbalance**

Sasuke was in an even worse mood now than he had been before gym class started. Though he'd won that ridiculous volleyball battle, it hadn't been good enough. If Naruto were an enemy with actual aim and brains to match his brawn, Sasuke wouldn't have beaten him.

Such trains of thought inevitably led to Itachi. Itachi the perfect, Itachi the strong, Itachi the cunning would have pounded Naruto's ego into the dust while barely wiggling his fingers. Just thinking about his older brother made Sasuke feel useless. He slammed his locker shut and left for orchestra, his last class of the day (thank god).

.oOo.

Hinata, who played third chair viola, was worried about Sasuke. He seemed to be angry from gym, and his playing was more egotistical and loud than the average violinist's. He glared at Neji, who sat concertmaster and was his stand partner, the entire time rather than most of it, and once during a particularly flashy passage he lost control of his bow and sent it flying across the room into the cello section.

He looked nearly murderous at the giggling that spread among the orchestra members, and Hinata felt her laughter die somewhere between her lungs and her throat. She wondered if she should say something nice to him, but he'd probably snap at her. Hinata didn't have the courage to do something like that, even if it was only Sasuke.

_Naruto would stand up to him and tell him he's being a jerk_, Hinata admonished herself. But Naruto was in band, not orchestra, and it was up to Hinata to be strong for him. This should not be this hard. Except, of course, it was.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a shout from Mr. Maito, who was filling in for their normal teacher today. "YOUTHFUL MUSICIANS! Let us take it from the pickup to measure twenty-seven once more with _feeling_!" Hinata nearly jumped in her seat, put her viola to her chin, and began to play. Sasuke would just have to wait. Class went on.

While she was putting away her instrument and massaging her ear (Mr. Maito had yelled the beat into it like a spandex-clad metronome when she'd been off, and the man had _lungs_), Hinata steeled herself to talk to Sasuke. Maybe he was lonely and all he wanted was for someone else to acknowledge him.

But when she'd gathered up all her music to take home, she found that Sasuke was already leaving.

_Courage, Hinata! Be like Naruto!_ With that thought, she half-ran past the clusters of students exiting the building, calling, "Sasuke! Are you okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?" he snapped, glaring at her. His eyes had a hint of red in the dark brown, something she'd never noticed before. It added to the intimidation.

"N-no," stammered Hinata, but she stood her ground. "Is it about gym class or the b-bow?"

"What it's about is nothing so pointless and none of your business," said Sasuke. Then he turned on his heel and left Hinata standing forlornly in the hallway.

How did Naruto manage?

.oOo.

Naruto was walking home from school, minding his own business, when he was accosted by one of the people he really _didn't_ want to talk to.

"Naruto! Bro!" said the annoying middle schooler who had attached himself to Naruto for whatever reason.

"I can't talk right now, Konohamaru," said Naruto. "I'm planning."

Wrong thing to say, he realized, as Konohamaru's small eyes lit up. "Planning what? Can I help?"

"No!' replied Naruto. "It's high school stuff!" Namely, it was trying to figure out a way to ask Sakura to Homecoming that she couldn't refuse. But Konohamaru certainly didn't need to know that.

"Ooh, is it about a girl?"

"Shut up, Konohamaru."

.oOo.

Kankurou turned the limb of a broken marionette in his hands, over and over again. The repetitive motion helped him think and calm his worries. He really hoped Temari and Gaara were going to be okay. They both seemed more unstable than usual.

Temari's problems, at least, he could blame on Baki. His older sister seemed to have a talent for finding the worst guys for her it was possible to find, and then dating them. Baki was actually cool, and he and Kankurou had gotten along before he'd started going out with Temari. He was all wrong for her: too similar in most ways, and far too different in the important ones.

Gaara had always had problems, even when he was on medication. Kankurou didn't know their source, except for the fact that Gaara wasn't quite right in the head. His brother didn't talk much, but when he did Kankurou's spine tingled. It wasn't right to be scared of your family, he knew. Gaara wouldn't do anything to his siblings, right? He didn't hurt people on purpose, and he'd been much better lately. So there was nothing to worry about there, right?

Kankurou was a dramatic at heart, and he couldn't help but remember Ian McKellan's voice saying "This is the deep breath before the plunge" whenever he thought about Gaara.

Then there were his own problems, but Kankurou wasn't the sort to broadcast those. He knew he was a textbook middle child, smoothing things out for his siblings before trying to fix things for himself. But what was wrong with that, when they needed him?

So when Temari knocked on his door and said, "Kankurou, can I talk to you?", of course he opened it, and a can of worms besides.

.oOo.

Sasuke never thought the day would come when he asked his parents a question about Itachi. While they answered, stars in their eyes, the apocalypse could come and they'd never notice.

His mother was a little less Itachi-obsessed than his father, so he went to her. "Mom, who did Itachi go to Homecoming with?"

She immediately put down the knife she was using to chop vegetables for dinner and began to talk, smiling benignly at her younger son as she did so. It made Sasuke want to puke. "I don't remember her name, Taylor or something? She was a sophomore at the time, so that would make her a senior now. She was very nice and polite, even though she had some loud pink hair. Why do you ask, Sasuke?"

He blinked. Was she seriously talking about _Tayuya_? Tayuya, renowned uber-bitch of Konoha High, had gone to Homecoming with his brother? (And what was with that 'nice and polite' shtick?) "Uh…no reason, really."

The real reason was, of course, finding a way to beat Itachi. It appeared his parents had liked Tayuya, so he had to find someone who could out-nice and out-polite her. Preferably one who wasn't a fangirl.

The Haku in drag option was looking better and better.

.oOo.

Tenten and Lee were crashing on the couch in her apartment, sharing a bowl of popcorn and for once not saying much of anything. Tenten's mom let Lee around her daughter without supervision because they had been friends for so long and (this was unspoken) why did Tenten need to be watched around someone who looked like _that_? It was fine for the two of them to be alone together anyway, because they were perfectly happy as friends, and neither of them had any desire to change that.

"Hey, Lee, you think Neji will go to Homecoming with me?"

Lee swallowed his mouthful of popcorn. "How could he not be attracted to your youthful beauty?"

Tenten threw an unpopped kernel at him. "That was rhetorical, Lee. We both know he won't." If she'd been a little less practical, she might have sighed. She'd had a crush on Neji since they'd been placed on the same team last year, and had yet to act on it.

"Ah, the sweet and sorrowful beauty of unrequited love!"

"Tell me about it," said Tenten. "Wanna watch a chick-flick with me?"

"Yosh! Drama! Romance! Intrigue!"

Tenten grinned and stuck a DVD in the player.

.oOo.

Deidara lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling and playing idly with a piece of clay he'd stolen from the art room. Itachi was in here, which meant that he and Sasori were communicating telepathically again and that Deidara was bored.

Telepathy was a stretch, admittedly, but how else did you explain the eerie silence that filled the room whenever Itachi entered it? Itachi sat on Deidara's desk, Sasori sat at his own, neither of them moved, and both of them glared at Deidara if he so much as breathed too loudly.

If he were Tobi, he would have done everything in his power to do more things loudly than breathe, but god forbid him being anything like Tobi. Deidara still wasn't sure how the kid had gotten into Akatsuki.

Finally, after Deidara had formed and squished that bit of clay into spiders and people and six different kinds of birds, Itachi got up and left, still without saying anything.

"What do you two _do_, yeah?" asked Deidara, fully exhaling and smashing the ball of clay again.

"We communicate telepathically," said Sasori with his usual deadpan. Deidara couldn't help but laugh, and through his hair he thought he saw his roommate smile.

.oOo.

"Iruka? How do I ask a girl out?" said Naruto, who had finally escaped Konohamaru by running away and hiding behind a trash can. Maybe it wasn't particularly cool, but it worked.

"Is it Homecoming already?" Iruka said, quite obviously avoiding answering Naruto's question.

"Yeah! How do I ask a girl out?" he repeated, because Naruto was nothing if not persistent.

Iruka grinned slightly and ran his hand over the scar across his nose. "You know, Naruto, there's a reason I never dated anyone until college."

"Aw, come on, Iruka! Don't you have any sexy pickup lines for your favorite foster son?"

"I can try, I guess. What's the girl like?" asked Iruka. "It's not like there's one holy grail of a pickup line that I can just hand to you."

"Her name's Sakura, and her hair is this really pretty color that's almost pink but not quite, and she has green eyes, and her favorite color is red, and she's kind of preppy but totally beautiful. Oh yeah, and she likes Sasuke."

Iruka nodded. "What's her _personality_ like?" he prompted.

"Oooh, that kind of 'what's she like.' Um…she's really nice, but she thinks I'm stupid. And she's really cute when she gets mad."

Iruka sighed a 'this-is-hopeless' sort of sigh. "Well, Naruto, I think you should try to not act stupid in front of Sakura. Be nice to her, but don't stalk her or be constantly in her face. And maybe you should stop insulting Sasuke when you're around her, since she likes him?"

Naruto frowned. Would Sakura really go for that? As Iruka said, he hadn't dated until college. What did he know about girls? "Thanks," he said, with a conspicuous lack of enthusiasm.


	9. Tentative Equilibrium

Disclaimer: Hmm…nope, still don't own Naruto. 

**A/N:** I'm pretty sure I'm decided on pairings. Of course, things could change, and I'm not very certain on the Sasuke pairing yet, but if you really want to know the current list you can REVIEW and ask me about it. Just don't kill me if the final pairings are different. If you want just the basics, then yes, there WILL be slash, and yes, there WILL be het. I told you that in like chapter two or something.

Feel free to guess at pairings in your reviews, though. That's always fun.

**Chapter 9: Tentative Equilibrium**

Ino lay sprawled out on her bed two days after the Homecoming posters had gone up, wearing an old t-shirt from some gifted program or another and a pair of grey sweatpants, and bored out of her mind. She stared at the picture of herself and Sasuke that she'd forced him to take with her on the eighth grade trip. Her hair had been shorter then, she noticed, and more comfortable. But Sasuke liked girls with long hair, and love was irrational.

She ran her fingers over the flowers on her bedspread. Forget-me-nots. Their meaning was pretty easy to guess, even for someone who didn't know flowers like Ino did. If they had any significance at the moment, she was missing it, and the thought was strangely disconcerting. Ino liked flowers, and though she'd never admit it, their language had a sort of comfort for her in her decisions.

But forget-me-nots. She didn't know quite what to make of forget-me-nots right now.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ring of her cell phone. It was some annoying pop song she didn't know, and she decided to change that soon. The number wasn't one she recognized, but she picked it up anyway because talking to _anybody_ was better than lying here and doing absolutely nothing.

"Hi, um, Ino?" Who was that? The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but it was hard to tell over the phone.

"Yeah?" she said, only belatedly realizing how much her voice sounded like Deidara's there. Now _that_ was scary.

"It's Chouji. Um, do you think you could help me with the math homework? I already asked Shikamaru, but he has a piano lesson, and I thought, since you're smart too and you're in my class and you live only a block away…"

"God, Chouji, you sound like you're making excuses for asking me. Sure I'll help. Want me to go to your house?" She certainly didn't want him walking in on her dressed like this.

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"See you, Chouji."

"Bye, Ino. Thanks."

Glad for the distraction, Ino pulled out some jeans and a light purple thermal shirt. After a glance at her impressive arsenal of makeup, she decided that she could do without. It was only Chouji, after all. She pulled her drying hair up into a ponytail, grabbed her backpack, and set off for Chouji's house.

.oOo.

Of all the things that Shikamaru didn't like to be (this included working, listening to his mother, at school, playing piano, and giving a damn), early had to be near the top of the list. But he was early for his piano lesson regardless, and now he had nothing to do but sit outside his teacher's room and wait for the kid inside to be done. It was extremely troublesome.

"You know, bastard, you look really familiar," said the girl with bright pink hair and a flute case sitting across the hall from him. So did she.

"You made out with me at that Suna party," he said helpfully.

"Shit. With _you_? Was I drunk?"

Well, she was pleasant. "Probably."

"Shit," she said again. "Sorry. I'm Tayuya Tsuchi, and I'm not as much of a whore under normal circumstances."

"Shikamaru Nara," he said, because long introductions were far too troublesome to be bothered with.

The door to Tayuya's classroom was opened by a girl with dark hair, a camouflage jacket, and a beat-up flute case with a sticker on it that read "I'd rather be drumming." _Trying to send a message?_ Shikamaru thought, though it was something of a rhetorical question.

"See you at Ac-team practice, then, Nara," said Tayuya, waving like a queen and walking inside, humming softly. A minute later, Shikamaru's teacher stuck his shriveled head out the door and announced that it was time for his lesson.

.oOo.

"When are you going to ask Tayuya to Homecoming?" Kidoumaru asked. "Take that! You just got your ass pwned!" he yelled triumphantly at the computer he was sitting in front of, pulling a victory fist similar to Lee's. It was a school night, but Kidoumaru finished the homework he cared about quickly and didn't do the rest.

"I'm not," said Jiroubou resolutely. He and Kidoumaru hung out enough that he knew when his friend was talking to virtual people and when he wasn't. "She doesn't like me, so it would be pointless anyway. Pass the chips."

"Look, if Tayuya would go out with Kimimaro she'd go out with you. At least you have interests beyond bone marrow donation, dude. It can't hut to ask." Kidoumaru handed over the bowl, which was almost empty.

"It's _Tayuya_. Of course it can hurt to ask."

"Touché. Oh hell no, you did not just say that, n00b! Why do you like her so much anyway?"

"You liked her freshman year," Jiroubou pointed out, quite possibly avoiding having to answer. Kidoumaru was rather easily distracted, especially when he was gaming.

"You're hot today, my good man," said Kidoumaru. "Yeah, I did. I think I got over it when she called me a 'dumbass geeky shithead' and hit me over the head with a piccolo case. And you're avoiding the question."

"Dunno," Jiroubou replied, taking another handful of chips. "She's cute when she's mad."

"PWNED! Who's the n00b now? You know, it's really kind of weird how our dating lives always seem to be inside the Ac-team. Tayuya and her sister, and crap. It's like a spiderweb."

"You compare everything to spiderwebs."

"Yeah, well a lot of stuff's like spiderwebs." Seeing Jiroubou's polite eye-roll, he elaborated, "No, think about it. We know each other so well that we couldn't imagine going out with anyone else, and since they're the lone two girls, they'd be in the middle. We're all stuck in random places around them, and they just reach out and eat us when they feel like it."

"You mean like that whole thing with the juniors?" That whole thing with the juniors involved Konoha's junior Academic Team, which consisted of a whole three members. Dosu and Zaku squabbled over who would get to ask Kin out to every dance that the school held. Lately, she had been ditching them more and more often for concerts, or in the case of this Homecoming, Kabuto. Kidoumaru still thought they made the weirdest couple he'd ever seen.

"Yeah," he said, "like that. And then there's Tayuya with us, and her whole 'I'm asexual dammit' deal, but that's because she's just exhausted her supply of man-meat I bet." Jiroubou coughed. Oh, right. "Except for you."

There was a pause, in which both seniors thought about this. Even Kidoumaru recognized that his moments of insight were few and far between and usually involved hacking. Finally, Jiroubou said, "I feel really sorry for those freshmen. Three girls and six guys? They're going to be stuck in the same stupid cycle we are."

"Amen, brother," said Kidoumaru. "Oh you _retard_, you didn't just use that spell, did you? Damn!"

.oOo.

On Thursday morning, Tenten Liu followed her normal routine: wake up, do hair, grab Pop-tart, catch bus, go to locker, go to English. This was very rarely disturbed, and usually by Lee 'itching to tell her a powerful new development in the springtime of his life.'

So she was more than surprised when Sasuke Uchiha met her at her locker, and without trailing a horde of extra estrogen behind him besides. Being Tenten, and used to Neji, Lee, and Gai, she took surprises well in stride, and managed a very normal-sounding 'What's up?'

"Tenten, right?" She nodded. Sasuke smirked, and Tenten wasn't sure she quite liked the looks of this. "Would you mind helping your adopted son?" So he remembered. Tenten grinned in spite of herself.

"Depends on the kind of help," she said warily, stuffing her newly washed gym uniform in her locker. His smirk wavered, and he looked at the linoleum floor.

"Do you mind going to Homecoming with me?"

"What?" Tenten dropped her French book on her foot. "Ow. What?"

"Haku broke his foot trying to fix his air conditioning," Sasuke explained. Tenten noticed that he was bad at giving context as she tried to piece together what relevance this had.

She wasn't on Academic Team for nothing, though. There had to be at least a little brain up there, and indeed there was. "You're the person he was going with? So that's what he meant when he said he was in an interesting predicament. Out of sheer curiosity, why did he tell you to ask me?"

"According to him, the fangirls won't be able to tell the difference between one dark-haired Chinese sophomore and another. He also said that you like Neji, not me, so you won't get any weird ideas. And there's the fact that you're a real girl and my parents won't freak if they find out your gender accidentally."

"Haku told you I like Neji? How did he find out? If Lee told him, I swear I'll—"

"It's kind of obvious," said Sasuke, shrugging. "Thanks, Tenten." Then he walked off, leaving one almost shocked Tenten Liu standing by her locker with a French book on her foot.

"I never said I'd…never mind." Tenten was always up for some mind games involving fangirls. She wasn't stupid enough to think she could make Neji jealous, but a tiny bit of her hoped it.

And she wondered when her mind would start to make sense again.


	10. Where the Scales Tip

Disclaimer: Through some shocking flashbacks, I have discovered that I do, in fact, own Naruto. Expect crappy art and totally ridiculous plot twists in the near future.

**A/N:** I promised quick updating. Wow I fail.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who's reviewed this story so far! Reviews make me insanely happy for no particular reason, so please don't hate me for vanishing on you. ;;

**Chapter 10: Where the Scales Tip**

It was all over the school by lunchtime. Sasuke Uchiha was going to Homecoming with Tenten Liu.

And Sakura Haruno was convinced that there was something very weird going on. She was smart, and she had a good memory for faces, and the girl she'd seen Sasuke with outside of math class was most definitely not Tenten. She had no idea what that meant, or what Sasuke's (or, for that matter, Tenten's) intentions were, but she was certain that there was something more there than anyone else seemed to think there was.

"Are you sure it wasn't Tenten you saw?" asked Ino skeptically, looking at the nutrition information on her diet soda.

"Positive," said Sakura. "I'd recognize Tenten, and it wasn't her. Even her hair was different." Ino was seriously being annoying. Couldn't she accept, for once, that maybe Sakura knew something she didn't?

"Do you think he's _playing_ them?" said Sasame, a redhead who was a recent arrival at the Sasuke-obsession table. As such, she didn't know the elaborate rules they went by, but she soon learned one of them as Ino, Sakura, and every other girl at the table glared at her and simultaneously said, "Sasuke would _never_ do that!"

Sasame shrunk back, muttering a "Sorry," and Sakura felt bad for the girl. Of course no one should insult Sasuke, but it wasn't that far-fetched an idea. If Sakura had cared a little less about her social status (or just been a little more stupid), she might have said the same thing.

Sasuke _wouldn't_ do that, though. People didn't suddenly go from never having dated to going with two girls to a dance. It hurt, a little, that he hadn't even considered her as an option, when she was right there and perfectly happy to go with him. Was she just not good enough? Sakura touched manicured nails to her (_huge_) forehead and wondered.

.oOo.

It was all over the school by lunchtime. Sasuke Uchiha was beginning to think that there had to be an easier way to beat Itachi than this. Crowds of girls discussing his romantic life that fell silent and looked hurt whenever he passed were everywhere he stepped.

Itachi was a bastard, he decided. An utter bastard, and insane besides, if he'd gone with Tayuya. Sasuke found comfort in blaming his brother for his woes, though the thoughts of how he'd take a ball of lightning and shove it in the bastard's chest did nothing to alleviate the whispers and stares, or the neglect and the shadows.

.oOo.

It was all over the school by lunchtime. This was not a good thing, as far as Tenten Liu was concerned. She was beginning to regret adopting the freshmen, or at least Sasuke. This was turning out to be more crazily discussed and gossiped than she'd realized. Unlike with Sasuke, no one bothered to stop talking about Homecoming in front of Tenten.

"Out of all people, why Tenten? I mean, god, she's practically a dude."

"If he likes older girls that much, he could have asked almost anybody. He could have asked me!"

"Ac-team people, don't they like, always date each other?"

"She's such a slut. I bet she doesn't even like him. Why doesn't she get her hands off him and let those of us that want him have a chance?" Tenten coughed quietly at this last one, just to alert the gossips to her presence. They glanced over at her, then continued their conversation in whispers.

Tenten wasn't certain why Haku had really gotten her into this mess in the first place. His stated reasoning kind of sucked. His foot was broken, so he couldn't go? The fangirls wouldn't notice? Tenten was smart enough to know a steaming pile of crap when she heard one.

The situation kind of sucked too, but she couldn't help but wonder how it would all play out. As much as she disliked high school drama, she felt strangely exhilarated by the thought.

Besides, Sasuke really was good-looking, especially if you liked the pale, brooding type. (Tenten did.)

The glass would remain stubbornly half-full, even if she had to add the water herself.

.oOo.

It was all over the school by lunchtime. Ino Yamanaka wasn't entirely sure what to make of what was going on, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. She would die before admitting Sakura was right, admittedly. Still, she was just as smart as (if not smarter than) her ex-friend, and she could see just as well that something was rotten in the state of Konoha, and for once it wasn't the cafeteria food.

When she was five years old, Ino had played alternately at princesses and spies, dragging along a slightly apprehensive Sakura. Sometimes, Princess Ino would reveal herself as a sneaky spy, come to murder Princess Sakura, and then Sakura would pull the pink polyester dress over her head and announce that she didn't want to play anymore.

Ino wondered why she'd suddenly remembered that, in the middle of lunch, and concluded that she was not supposed to murder Princess Sakura, but instead to find out what was up with Prince Sasuke and Lady Tenten, using her sneaky spy tactics.

"I'm a _ninja_!" Naruto announced loudly to Hinata, who was sitting with him, and Ino allowed herself a small smile along with the obligatory eyeroll. How apt.

.oOo.

It was all over the school by lunchtime, and Shikamaru Nara cursed his luck. _Ino_. _Sasuke_. Life was about to get even more annoying.

Girls were so troublesome. If Shikamaru had a dollar for every time he was bothered by some female (be it his mother, Ino, Tayuya, or that scary girl at that party), he would bribe all his teachers and never do any work ever again.

Supposedly, they were worth it. Love was, apparently, the most fantastic thing in the world. Of course, all this philosophy was coming from his father, possibly the happiest victim of spousal abuse in the world. Someday, Shikamaru too would understand this marvelous 'love' and finally give that long-expected damn about something.

"Sasuke would _never_ do that!" shrieked at least ten voices at Ino's table.

Someday, some unfortunate girl would realize that there were boys in the world other than Sasuke, and Shikamaru would have hell to pay for it.


	11. Mood Swings

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these flashbacks were planted in my mind by an evil organization of ninjas bent on ruling the world, so I would be drawn to their lair. I don't own Naruto after all, dang it. 

**A/N:** Extra-long to make up for the short suckiness of the previous one. After this chapter, I have figured out that it's impossible for me to write characters with even a tenuous grasp on sanity.

But at least Kankurou grew a backbone, which is good. And Ino has reasons for acting the way she does. And you already knew that Gaara was crazy. So HAH I WIN.

Oh yeah, and: I'm going on vacation in approximately seventeen hours. I will have a computer, but I'm not so sure about internet access or time. I'll try and write a bit while I'm gone, and then update when I get back. Patience, grasshoppers.

And (this is the last one, I swear) if Sakura's math homework looks weird it's because the site is being weird and won't let you see equals signs. If you know any algebra at all, you should be able to figure out more or less where they go.

**Chapter 11: Mood Swings**

Ino peeled a stick-on rhinestone off her cell phone. She wished she had a boyfriend. It would give her an excuse to wait idly by the phone, pretending she was expecting a call. Sure, plenty of people called her, but they weren't the kind of person she would do that for.

That obnoxious song blasted from the phone (she hadn't gotten around to changing it), and Ino flipped it open without checking the caller ID first.

"Ino?" It took her a second to recognize the voice. It had been so long since she'd had a real conversation with Sakura.

"What?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I guess," said Sakura, her voice thin and hesitant.

Words flew out of Ino's mouth before she could stop them, not that she would have anyway. "Of course you're sorry now, now that I have as little a chance with Sasuke as you do. Let's see if you apologize if he dumps Tenten, why don't we? You think you can get in on what I get when…" Ino clenched her fingers around a corner of her sheets, crushing a printed spray of forget-me-nots.

"When what?" All the worry was gone from Sakura's voice, replaced by anger. "When you're just jealous that I get to talk to Sasuke and you don't?"

"No," Ino snapped. Of _course_ she was jealous. Sakura was just rubbing salt in her wounds, lemon juice in her damn paper cut. "You come crawling back to me when you're the one who ruined our friendship in the first place?"

The phone sat silent in Ino's left hand. "You _bitch_," Sakura finally said. "You—"

But Ino didn't hear what else she was, since she had snapped the phone shut and hurled it at her pillows. Another rhinestone fell off.

.oOo.

Sakura stared at the phone dully. Five minutes ago, she'd been furious, but not anymore. Like with all anger, this too had passed and she was left here, with only an ache like a knife stuck in her throat.

"Sakura? Is something wrong?" It was her mother, thinning reddish hair, wrinkled pencil skirt, and all.

Sakura swallowed. "No, Mom. I'm fine. I was just on the phone with Ino, that's all."

"Ino? Wasn't she that nice girl in your kindergarten class?"

"Yeah. Ino."

.oOo.

Shikamaru wasn't doing much of anything (not like that was something new) when his front door burst open and Ino stormed in, ranting and shrieking like a demon. Shikamaru closed the door and covered his ears. What had he done to deserve this? And why did Ino have a key to his house in the first place?

"Are you even _listening_ to me?" she screeched, catapulting a throw pillow at his head.

What was he supposed to say? "No" seemed a very troublesome option, but so did "yes." Finally, he settled for the former, if only because lying and being convincing about it took too much effort.

"What? God, I hate you, Shikamaru! You're so…" With this, Ino collapsed sobbing on the couch, clutching a different pillow to her chest.

"Ino?" he said awkwardly, hating the sound of his own voice. For as long as he lived, Shikamaru would never understand girls.

"I have no boyfriend and I have no friends and everybody hates me and I'm so fake and my family doesn't understand me and I'm such a bitch to everybody and _Shikamaru why am I so pathetic?_"

Shikamaru was saved having to respond by the slow sound of the door opening again. "Hey, Shika," said Chouji's welcome voice, "can you help me with my math homework?" Looking at Ino on the couch, he added, "Er…is this not a good time?" Chouji didn't seem concerned with the answer to that question, though, since he pushed his way past Shikamaru.

He sat down on the couch with a soft thud. "Ino? What's wrong?"

She sat up, using Chouji's shoulder as a support and his T-shirt to wipe off her eyes, though she was still crying. "I…I had a fight with Sakura, and, and, I don't know, I just…I-I've been such a bitch, and everyone hates me now."

"Ino. I don't hate you."

"Yeah. You're troublesome as hell, but it's not like I hate you."

And Ino descended once more into uncontrollable sobbing. No matter how long he lived, Shikamaru would never understand girls.

.oOo.

The red spot was getting bigger. That was good. Gaara stared at it, his right hand trembling. His left was steady, though. That was also good. He looked at the little bubble of blood collapsing under its own weight and running down his finger. And that was good too.

Gaara held the pin over his shaking hand. It would stop. The room was dark, but the sharp little tip sent a glimmer of light into his eye.

He would drown the light in blood.

Down flew the tip until the flesh of Gaara's index finger stopped it. Methodically, he pulled it out and watched a second red flower blooming.

"Gaara?"

.oOo.

He was in his room, though he didn't remember getting there. There was a long pin lying next to him, and two of his fingers were bleeding.

"Gaara?" It was Kankurou. Gaara padded over to the door and opened it, wincing at the light from the hallway. "I got you a new lightbulb."

"Thank you," said Gaara, taking it. Kankurou noticed his fingers.

"Have you been…?"

"No. I slipped." And he closed the door and put in his lightbulb.

It was so bright it hurt his eyes. That was good.

.oOo.

"We can't do this, 'Mari," said Kankurou, leaning against the side of his sister's bed. "There's got to be another way."

Temari snapped her head around, fixing a narrowed glare on her little brother's face. "You want to be here forever? We _have_ to. Unless you've directed a blockbuster movie without telling me?"

"Shut up," he snapped. He was tired of his sister mocking him, even though he could mock her right back. "How do you know that something like this is going to get you into college, since that's all you care about?"

"There are _reasons_ I want to go to college, asshole," she said, waving her hand over the calculus book that always lay open on her desk. "It's to get away. C'mon, Kankurou. You want out of Suna as badly as I do. And you know it's awful for Gaara."

Kankurou remembered his little brother seated in a circle of pins, going methodically around and sticking each one in his body. Supposedly, he was cured, or past the worst.

In the end, Kankurou knew.

"Get your ass out of my room," said Temari abruptly as the buzzer rang. "I've got a date." She pulled out a tube of mascara and ran it impatiently through her eyelashes, then tossed it onto her bed and grabbed her battered canvas purse. Kankurou muttered something incoherent, but he left anyway. The apartment was small enough that he'd have to watch Baki making out with her in the kitchen wherever he was.

He averted his eyes, kicked her door without much interest. Damn, their family was screwed up.

.oOo.

Ino watched Shikamaru and Chouji from across her kitchen table. Chouji had his hand in a bag of chips, not like that was surprising or anything. Shikamaru stared out the window.

She did have an awful habit of speaking without thinking, she reflected later. But she did manage to wake Shikamaru up and stop Chouji from eating for at least a minute when she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind: "Shikamaru, will you go to Homecoming with me?"

Chouji bit his tongue, yelped, dropped his chips, and began to choke. Shikamaru dropped quite quickly back to reality, slapped his friend on the back, and said, "Whatever." He probably thought she was still unstable and liable to break out into tears if he said no. That, or it was just too much trouble to come up with a response.

"Thanks," said Ino. She'd been brought up to always say 'please' and 'thank you', even if she hardly ever did.

On a roll now, she found Sakura's name on her cell phone and pressed the 'call' button. Ino really could apologize, though Sakura was just as much at fault, and she wanted to go dress shopping with someone, and she had to rub in the fact that she had a date and Sakura didn't.

Sakura actually picked up, which Ino hadn't expected. "Hello? Ino?"

"Yeah?" There was that Deidara-voice again. Why did she always forget not to use the word 'yeah' in conversation?

"I kind of said a lot of stuff I shouldn't have when I called you before. I'm sorry, I guess."

"Yea—Me too. I shouldn't have brought up…what I did." Shikamaru and Chouji were looking at her oddly. Probably because they could only hear one side of the conversation.

"I still say you're jealous of me, Ino-pig," said Sakura, but her voice was light and Ino could pick up on comments far more subtle. They were okay again. There was a band-aid over the scar now.

"And I still say you're dateless, forehead-girl," Ino replied. Let Sakura come up with a smart response to_ that. _

"So are—No way. How did someone as ugly as you get a date before me?"

"It's called sex appeal, which is inversely proportional to forehead size." Perhaps Ino was popular, but she wasn't above making nerdy jokes when they were called for. She got up from the kitchen table for the privacy of her room; Shikamaru and Chouji could fend for themselves.

"Hey, Sakura, d'you think Shikamaru's a good kisser?"

Exit Ino, followed by outraged spluttering. That was _fun_.

.oOo.

Sakura let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding. Metaphorically, of course; she could hardly talk if she was actually holding her breath. Why couldn't she and Ino get along better? It wasn't like Ino was particularly mean most of the time (she'd even offered to help find Sakura an outfit for Homecoming that complemented her rather unusual hair) and Sakura wasn't either. What, then, was their problem?

She could only conclude that it was Sasuke. He'd been the one to come between them originally, after all. But she didn't lash out at Tenten, who certainly had more of a claim to him than Ino.

Whatever. At least they always made up quickly. And that was the important thing, wasn't it? Even if they weren't friends any longer, they got along, which was good enough for Sakura.

Again, whatever. Sakura turned her mind to more important things, like finishing her math homework and getting a date for Homecoming. Though those were completely unrelated to each other.

_x12 or x4,_ wrote Sakura. _I don't want to resort to Lee or Naruto_, she thought. Lee was sweet, yeah, but he was also more than a little too weird for Sakura. And Naruto…Naruto was Naruto.

The only person Sakura really wanted to go with was Sasuke, but that was rather obviously out of the question. _Stupid Tenten, stupid Ino, stupid Sakura. You should have just asked him; he might have said yes to you!_ Her throat closed up, and the neat lines of numbers blurred in front of her eyes. She was angry, too. Should've just asked, should've just asked, should've just asked.

Right. She was doing math. Time to be logical. Ino had nothing to do with Sakura's present predicament. Tenten did. So what?

_x-5 and y1_. Sakura knew what Ino would do in this situation, but she wasn't Ino.

Still…still, it could work.

.oOo.

"Neji?" said Hinata, her voice trembling as usual. "Neji?"

"N-n-neji?" mocked Hanabi, who had come up behind her. Hinata looked over her shoulder at her little sister. Hanabi could be such a brat sometimes, but Hinata admired her confidence. If Hanabi liked a boy, she would tell him outright. (Maybe sarcastically, but it was the telling that counted, right?) And Hanabi wasn't scared of Neji like Hinata was, which she envied. Although—

"What?" said Neji, opening the door. His dark hair was out of its normal ponytail and his pale Hyuuga eyes angry.

Hinata jumped back as if he'd stung her like a bee. "Ah…Dad sent me to tell you that he wants you to come to d-dinner." She bit her lip to stop it from quivering in fear.

"I'm not hungry," said Neji coldly, glaring down at her.

Hinata stood her ground. She would not give in; she was not a coward. "Please, Neji?"

He looked at her curiously, as if to ask why she was standing up to him after all this time. Then he closed his door and strode down the hallway. Hanabi smirked, glancing over at her older sister before following him.

_Look, Naruto, I'm changing,_ Hinata thought, smiling as she walked quietly down the halls of the Hyuuga mansion. _Watch me change._


	12. Up the Volume, Down the Road

Disclaimer: But _damn_, those evil ninjas are awesome. Unfortunately, I don't own them. 

**A/N:** This darling has reached fifty pages in my Word document. This is the longest of any fanfiction of mine ever, though I think my first had more chapters. Anyway. I'm not even halfway done, so here's to fifty more! –raises glass- Do not worry; it is sparkling grape juice, as I am underage. (Exactly how underage, you will never know.) I love you all for reading my ramblings, and my reviewers for being made of awesome and win and encouraging me to keep going.

Review? Oh, and keep an eye out for some SHINY NEW FIC! I'm planning on publishing the beginnings of two new stories very soon (this week, hopefully) and I obviously had to plug them. Duh. You can review those too, once I've got 'em up.

**Chapter 12: Up the Volume, Down the Road**

It was five-o-clock in the morning, and Deidara Yamanaka was awake. This was not a good combination.

"Jesus Christ, Sasori. Don't you ever sleep, yeah?" he grumbled irritably, stuffing his pillow over his head. His roommate was also awake. Awake. At five in the goddamn morning. He had been awake at one in the morning, which was Deidara's regular bedtime. And he had probably been awake since.

"You could go back to sleep," said Sasori absently, obviously ignoring Deidara.

Very few things annoyed Deidara more than being ignored. One of them was being woken up early. "You could turn your music down, yeah," he said irritably, removing the pillow from his face.

"It's _Beethoven,_ Deidara." Sasori didn't even look up from his graphics tablet, drawing something into his computer.

"Yeah, well, Beethoven's damn _loud_."

Sasori glanced over, but made no move to turn down the volume. Deidara propped his face up on his knuckles and watched the artist at work through a haze of messy blonde hair.

.oOo.

"Oh, _Naruto_," said Sakura, a blush dusting her cheeks. It matched her hair. "Of _course_ I'll go to Homecoming with you."

"Yeah!" shouted Naruto, punching a fist in the air. "Let's go get some ramen!"

"Pancakes for breakfast," said Sakura, and Naruto thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. "Naruto? Pancakes for breakfast."

"Naruto? Wake up, Naruto."

And Sakura's pretty pale face turned tanner and a long scar appeared across her nose and she turned into Iruka, shaking him awake.

"What was that about pancakes for breakfast?" Naruto asked.

.oOo.

Ino looked herself over critically in her full-length mirror. She was rather fond of this outfit, which consisted of a purple cami, a semi-transparent white sweater, stonewashed jeans (nicely broken in, but she didn't tell people that), and her favorite pair of black flats. It was far more comfortable than some of the other things she wore.

She was putting on weight, she noted. Her waist was definitely bigger. Why couldn't any of those extra pounds go to her boobs? At this rate, even _Sakura's_ would be bigger than hers. This, of course, was intolerable. And her waist…well, it wasn't too big yet, but it was getting awfully close. The last thing Ino wanted to be was fat. Perhaps she would go without breakfast this morning and spend extra-long on her makeup. Her parents probably wouldn't notice.

This settled, she sat down at her vanity and began to apply mascara.

.oOo.

Chouji packed his sixth waffle into his mouth. Morning was one of his favorite times of the day. More accurately, breakfast was one of his favorite times. Along with lunch, after-school snacktime, dinner, and late-night snacktime. And these waffles were _good_. He'd really gotten lucky in the parental department, since both of them could cook.

His mind shifted to Ino as his hand reached for waffle number seven. She'd been awfully upset yesterday. He hoped she was okay now, that she'd settled everything with Sakura, and that she'd gotten some good comfort food. Come to think of it, he'd never seen her eat much. That thought worried him almost as much as the thought of her alone and sad. Food and family were Chouji's two main sources of solace, and the thought that Ino could be missing one of them made him wish all the more fervently that she was all right.

"Chouji, you should take an extra waffle and head for the bus," his father gently reminded him, placing a large warm hand on his shoulder. Chouji did what he was told, picking his backpack up and kissing his mother on the cheek as he left the house. The city bus stopped at a street corner a few blocks away, and Chouji didn't like to rush and disturb his digestion. He usually met up with Shikamaru on the way there and they'd ride to school together.

The day was a nice one, perfect for fall. The leaves were beginning to be tinted with color, there was a light breeze, and Chouji could walk around comfortably with only a light jacket. Trees really were pretty this time of year, he thought, munching on his waffle and looking at them.

He was so absorbed in his trees, in fact, that he almost didn't notice that he was walking straight into Ino. She was singing along to the music on her Ipod.

"Sorry," he said, mentally berating himself for not paying more attention to where he was going.

Ino pulled one of her earbuds out. "Huh? Sorry," she replied. Obviously she hadn't heard him. "Hey, you don't mind if I ride the bus with you and Shikamaru, do you?"

Chouji shook his head earnestly, as his mouth was full of waffle. He swallowed it quickly. "It's fine."

"Great," said Ino, smiling. She put her earbud back in and began to sing again, quieter now.

Chouji found himself looking less at the foliage and more at her face.

.oOo.

"TGIF!" Naruto whooped, glancing at Kakashi's desk to see if the notoriously tardy teacher was here yet. He wasn't. Sakura put a hand to her face, and Naruto felt his heart sink a couple centimeters. What was wrong with his natural exuberance? He was certainly a lot more fun than Sasuke, that bastard.

"Hey, Sakura," he said. "What're you doing after school today?"

She gave him a weird look, very different from the one in last night's dream. "Dress shopping with Ino. For Homecoming."

There it was! His golden opportunity! "Hey, Sakura, d'you want to go—"

"Oh hi Hinata did you do the English homework I totally didn't understand the reading we had to do how about you?"

Well, she hadn't actually rejected him, had she? Naruto grinned, even though his heart had dropped farther. Sasuke, sitting across the room, gave that annoying supercilious half-smile and Naruto wanted to punch him. When would Sakura understand?

.oOo.

Hinata loved it when Naruto smiled. That face of his, with the scars across his cheeks and his mop of blonde hair and his bright white teeth just seemed to make the room glow. There were no problems when Naruto smiled, only light and warmth filling her from the heart on out.

And so what if he liked Sakura? Hinata could be like Sakura; she could have that courage and that girliness. "Yeah," she said "I've got the English." No stutter. _Watch me_.

"Thanks," said Sakura, smiling and taking the paper. "I like your top, by the way." Hinata blushed out of instinct, looking over at Naruto to see if he was looking back at her.

He smiled, probably at Sakura, but it didn't matter because he was smiling anyway. Hinata was happy, really, to bask in the glow. She could wait inside that smile, content and confident and perfect. _Watch me_.

.oOo.

"Hey," said Kakashi, walking in the door to his homeroom class. "Sorry I'm late. I got lost on the road of life, which consisted of the highway and then the teacher's lounge. Then I was accosted by Mr. Maito, who is a road unto himself." He sat down at his desk and put down his briefcase.

After the usual attendance and Pledge of Allegiance nonsense, Kakashi said, "Oh, and Ac-team, you have a lunchtime meeting today. We're giving out ramen and pizza."

"YES BOSS!" shouted Naruto, grinning like a fiend. This was definitely his lucky day, even with Sakura's stinging semi-rejection. What could ease the pain better than _free ramen_?

.oOo.

Gai was also late today, which was unusual. Lateness was usually defined as "a shameful waste of the Springtime of Youth" in his class. Naturally, the sophomores waiting for him took this opportunity to gossip shamelessly.

Tenten sat chatting with Lee (who was distraught at the absence of his favorite teacher in the world) and sneaking glances as Haku, to see if he was doing anything suspicious. His foot was actually in a cast and there were crutches on the floor by his desk, so at least he'd been telling the truth about that. Still, there was something odd going on—

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

Ah, there he was. Tenten smiled at Lee, who had (metaphorical) tears of relief running down his face, and turned her attention to the large green force of nature at the front of the classroom.

"I APOLOGIZE, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS, FOR MY SHAMEFUL WASTE OF THE SPRINGTIME OF MY LIFE! UNFORTUNATELY, I WAS DETAINED BY MY ETERNAL RIVAL, MR. HATAKE! LET US COMMENCE THE ATTENDANCE! HAKU BAI, ARE YOU PRESENT?"

.oOo.

Naruto was totally unable to sit still through all of his classes before lunch. His thought process went something like _Ramenramenramenramenramen_.

"Naruto! Which nucleic acid is described in the diagram on page three of the reading?" Ms. Godaime said about halfway through biology.

"Ramen-A!"

"_RNA_,Naruto." She wasn't particularly pleased by this, but Naruto didn't exactly notice.

When lunch came around, Naruto leapt out of his seat and ran to the physics room, where several of the seniors were already sitting. Mr. Sinister…er…Mr. Orochimaru was at the desk, reading some science journal. Where was the ramen?

Naruto had a bit of a one-track mind sometimes.

Slowly, the rest of the team trickled in. Tayuya was the last arrival, swaggering through the door like she owned the place. "Someone needs a date to Homecoming," she announced. Jiroubou sat up a little straighter in his chair. "Kidoumaru, I think you're my one true love, you bastard."

"I thought you thought I was a 'dumbass geeky shithead' and enjoyed hitting me over the head with piccolo cases," Kidoumaru said helpfully.

"And that's why I love you," she said, with a Cheshire-cat grin and a toss of her long pink hair. "Asshole." Kin giggled and leaned over to whisper something to Kabuto. Lee said something about youthful romance, to which Tenten responded by bursting out in uncontrollable laughter.

Kakashi, Asuma, and Mr. Maito all walked in together, carrying boxes of pizza and large bowls of ramen. Naruto's eyes lit up. "Kurenai…er, Ms. Yuuhi can't come," said Asuma, putting down his boxes. "The foreign language teachers have some sort of meeting this period."

"Anyway," said Kakashi. "Help yourselves, but don't be greedy. We'll start talking after you've got your food."

"Raaaaaaamen!" shouted Naruto, making a mad dash for the table where they'd set up the food.

For the next few minutes, the room was filled with the sort of happy chaos that comes with a bunch of teenagers and a bunch of food. When the noise had died down to a dull roar, Mr. Maito cleared his throat as if he was preparing to make a long speech at full volume. Everyone braced themselves with fingers over their ears except for Lee, who leaned forward eagerly.

"YOUTHFUL STUDENTS—" shouted Mr. Maito. Naruto nearly dropped his chopsticks from the sheer _noise_.

"—need functional eardrums, Gai," Kakashi finished.

"You are indeed correct, my eternal rival! But I shall tie the score once more!" said Mr. Maito at a significantly lower decibel level. "Anyway! Youthful students, I am sure you know that our first competition is shortly before the beginning of winter break! This is only about three months away! WE MUST PARTICIPATE IN THE ULTIMATE TRAINING!" Neji and Tenten groaned simultaneously; Lee punched his fist up into the air.

"In other words, we're going to beat Akatsuki this year and make it to state, right?" said Asuma. At the mention of beating Akatsuki, Naruto noticed Sasuke's body stiffening and straightening. His dark eyes seemed to become redder as he regarded Asuma. What was wrong with the bastard? "So we're scheduling more practices, and we needed to know good dates for all of you. This year, we're going to have sessions with the whole team together, so the upperclassmen can show the freshmen some tips and tricks."

"We were thinking every other Wednesday after school," said Mr. Hatake, looking up from his slice of Hawaiian pizza.

Kin shook her head. "No good. That's when my band practices."

"How about Fridays, then?" said Asuma. The room was momentarily silent as everybody glanced around for any objection. When it became clear that there was none, Mr. Orochimaru nodded.

"Agreed. You are dismissed," he said in that quiet cold voice of his.

"But you may stay and enjoy the delicious meal we have prepared for you if you wish!" Mr. Maito added, flashing the class a brilliant white smile. The light caught on his teeth.

Naruto really liked Ac-team, he decided. The people were funny, and the ramen was good, and here, at last, was a place where he felt like he belonged.


	13. Part of a Balanced Diet

Disclaimer: I was having a great time not owning Naruto, until Kakuzu told me I was a financial liability and kicked me out to go make money. I am dirt poor, since I don't own Naruto and stuff. Yeah. Disclaimer ends here. Go read the chapter before I make an even bigger fool of my poor inarticulate self. 

**A/N:** Warning: I actually like this chapter, or bits of it, anyway. omg I want to go shopping with Ino so bad.

And I'm slowly exhausting my supply of "HAH REVIEWERS I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT" and preplanning and such. I'm in school now and working (somewhat) hard, and the only chapter I have properly planned out is the next one. I need to write more before I give myself plotholes. (By the way, I'm not trying to be unoriginal or anything (I do all my own writing, except for, y'know, the fact that it's _fanfiction_) (I love parentheses) but if there's something you particularly want to see in the story (pairings, plot points, whatever) and it doesn't conflict too much with my vague idea of a plot, I may write it just for you 'cause you are a speshul speshul person.)

**Chapter 13: Part of a Balanced Diet**

Neji was in one of his Moods again. Hinata wanted to be as far away from him as possible. And that was the only reason that she came up to Ino and Sakura at Sakura's locker after orchestra and asked to go shopping with them. (Enlisting Ino's impeccable fashion sense to find a dress that would impress Naruto had nothing to do with it. Really.)

They looked surprised, but Sakura said "Sure" with what seemed like relief. Hinata wasn't exactly sure why, but it probably had something to do with the fact that Sakura and Ino would rip each other's hair out from spite if they were alone together.

"Th-thanks," said Hinata. "Let me call my dad." And it was decided. She was a little nervous about hanging out with the two of them, but she reassured herself that Neji in a Mood was scarier than anything that these girls could conjure up.

The city buses took you away from the school building for free if you showed your student ID. Theoretically, this was supposed to provide students with an easy way to get home, but it actually served to transport them anywhere on the bus route without paying. Hinata, Ino, and Sakura got off in downtown Konoha, nowhere near where any of them lived. Ino steered them across several sidewalks, and past several stores Hinata would have stopped at if Ino hadn't been practically running down the sidewalk.

"Why are you in such a hurry, Ino-pig? Where are we even going?"

"Only the best store in Konoha, Forehead," Ino replied, turning a corner at breakneck pace. "Stop complaining; we're almost there."

She came to an abrupt stop outside a medium-sized store. Apparently, it was called Ikebana, since that was what the sign said. "Behold," said Ino, "the secret to looking totally hot at Homecoming. Some of the stuff they have here might even make Forehead look good."

"Shut up, Ino-pig. I'd be worrying more about hiding how ugly you are if I were you," said Sakura. Hinata said nothing, not sure how to react.

The inside of Ikebana was decorated with small Japanese prints in silver frames, pink paint on the walls, and flowers and dresses everywhere. Hinata thought it looked nice, and very feminine, just the sort of place where Ino would shop. She headed for a rack of dresses that had an arrangement of forsythia on the top, browsing through it for something that caught her eye.

Hinata was something of a slow shopper, very unlike Ino's businesslike purge of the racks. Sakura was in the middle, browsing slowly but actually picking something up now and again. Hinata had nothing, which Ino noticed.

"Come on, Hinata, don't tell me you haven't seen anything. God, Forehead has plenty picked out, and you're prettier than she is so it should be easier for you to find stuff."

"I heard that!" yelled Sakura.

Hinata blushed. "N-no, I think you're very pretty, Sakura. And um, y-you t-too, Ino. You're b-both much prettier than I am."

"Yeah right, Hinata," said Ino, rolling her eyes. "With a bit of confidence and makeup and the right dress, you'd be just as hot as me. And you already look better than Sakura." She dug through her pile and tossed several dresses into Hinata's arms. "Here. Let's go try these on. Forehead! Modeling time!"

Hinata and Sakura dutifully followed her to the back of the store, where spring green curtains offered shoppers a private place to change. There was a large three-way mirror to the side.

Each girl retreated behind a curtain, and Hinata looked at the bunch of dresses in her arms for the first time. They looked like definite Ino dresses, in rich colors and skimpier than anything Hinata had ever worn. But Ino did have good fashion sense, and if she'd thought these would look good on Hinata, Hinata would try them on. She slipped the pale blue shirt Sakura had complimented earlier today over her head, pulled off her loose jeans, and put on the first of the dresses.

Sakura was already outside her dressing room, looking herself over in the mirror. The dress she had on was pink, strapless, pleated, and ended right above her knees. Hinata stood next to her and regarded herself. Her dress was a deep blue and had a swirl of shiny silver butterflies that spread out from the hem (uncomfortably high up for her) and ended in a curl by her hip. It was also strapless, and Hinata felt quite exposed by it. But she was surprised to find that the Hinata Hyuuga that looked out from the mirror looked nice, and not exposed at all. _I'm pretty_, Hinata realized with a bit of a shock.

The moment was broken by Ino's appearance. "Hinata, you look _amazing_. Buy that dress right now and—OH MY GOD SAKURA WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?"

"What does it look like I'm wearing?" said Sakura.

"Pink," Ino announced dramatically. "Sakura, you absolutely cannot wear pink. With your hair? What were you thinking? It would be like…it would be like me wearing yellow."

"Ino, you _are_ wearing yellow," Sakura pointed out.

"I am not. This is goldenrod."

"Well, I'm not wearing pink. This is _magenta_."

"Magenta? Nobody but old ladies wears magenta."

"Nobody but old ladies wears goldenrod."

"Who are you calling an old lady? Goldenrod is the new black."

"Black is the new black!"

"You don't even _like_ black!"

"Um…I think you both look very n-nice," Hinata said, hesitant. The two other girls glanced at her momentarily, then glared at each other and flounced off into their respective dressing rooms.

Hinata sighed quietly and looked at herself in the mirror again.

.oOo.

"Naruto! Bro!"

Naruto groaned. First Sakura, then free ramen, then Konohamaru. If the rest of the day followed this pattern, he was in for something really good after he survived this attack. Bad-good-bad-good, or something like that. Naruto wasn't _that_ dumb.

"What, Konohamaru?"

"Didja ask your girlfriend to Homecoming? Didja? Didja?"

Naruto resisted the urge to hurl the brat into the brick wall of his apartment building. "I don't have a girlfriend," he growled.

"What about Saaaa-kuuuu-raaaa?"

Damn Konohamaru to hell. Damn Iruka too, since he'd probably been the one to tell the brat. "She's not my girlfriend. Go away, Konohamaru."

"Aw, Naruto, you're so boring," said Konohamaru. "If I was you I would have—" But Naruto was already walking away to go complain to Iruka.

He slammed open the door to their apartment, causing Yuugao, the college student who lived across the hallway from them to look up from watering the geraniums she kept outside her door. "Iruka! What'd you tell stupid Konohamaru about Sakura?"

Iruka was sitting at the kitchen table, talking on the phone. He looked tired, and Naruto immediately felt guilty for barging in like that. "Sorry," he said, softly closing the door.

"He's home now; can I call you back?" said Iruka. "Thank you. Goodbye." He hung up the phone. "Sorry about that, Naruto. What did you want to know about Konohamaru and Sakura?"

"Ah, nothing," he replied quickly, retreating to his bedroom. Forget Konohamaru. What could be so important and secret that Iruka couldn't talk about it in front of him?

.oOo.

About three hours after school had let out and the girls had reached Ikebana, they exited it, Sakura and Ino loaded down with bags of clothes. Hinata carried only one bag, which contained the blue dress she'd first tried on. None of the other dresses she'd looked at while Sakura and Ino were shopping looked as good on her, and she didn't have the same desire to buy matching earrings and spend half an hour trying to find the perfect pair that the other girls did. She didn't even have pierced ears.

Sakura, in what Hinata assumed was a gesture of defiance, had bought a black dress with pale pink flowers sewn on the hem. Ino had returned to her old standby, purple, despite all her endorsements of goldenrod.

Hinata was terribly excited for the dance. Now all she needed was for Naruto to ask her. Or anyone else, for that matter, but it would have to be someone she knew, or else she'd probably die of embarrassment when she didn't know what to say.

"You two," said Ino, shifting her bag from her right arm to her left, "have to come over to my house so I can do your makeup. I bet I could make even Forehead look good."

"Th-thank you," Hinata said, unsure what to make of the offer, at the same time that Sakura said, "I already look better than you, Ino-pig."

"You wish," said Ino. Sakura hit her over the head with a shopping bag, then took off down the sidewalk. Ino followed her, shouting mock threats. Hinata followed more slowly, wondering when she would be able to open up enough to have a friend like that.

.oOo.

Tenten, as if she shared a mind with the freshmen, realized that she didn't yet have a dress for Homecoming while she was drinking a glass of orange juice. Seeing as nobody was home to scold her, not even Lee, she took the glass over to her closet and poked through its contents for something suitable. She'd gone to some of the dances last year, but she'd grown, and she doubted anything she'd worn then would fit her.

A new dress would be nice, but Tenten was a practical girl at heart. She didn't have that much spare cash, and she hated asking her parents for money. They weren't exactly poor, but they weren't rich enough for her not to feel guilty whenever she asked for something she didn't really need. Maybe she could send an old one over to her grandma so she could let out the seams. Unfortunately, one of Tenten's grandmothers was dead, and the other one lived in China.

Speaking of China…Tenten took a swig of orange juice, then pawed through the back of her closet. Last year, her grandmother had sent her one of those dresses that the girls in Chinese restaurants always wore. It was pink, high-collared, sleeveless, and had a long slit up the leg. Most importantly, it had been too big for her when she'd gotten it. Now, where was the thing?

A flash of pink silk caught Tenten's eye, and she was on it like a hawk. In the space of less than five seconds, she removed the black capris she'd been looking for on the first day of school, a white-and-red blouse she didn't know she owned, three shoeboxes, and seven hangers from on top of the dress, all without dropping her orange juice. Tenten held her prize up to herself. Yeah, she decided, it would probably fit pretty well. And she did look good in this shade of pink.

It was kind of stupid, but Tenten really wanted to look good for Homecoming. Part of it was Neji, but another part was Sasuke. She wanted to prove to the fangirls that she was something other than a last resort, that even Tenten Liu could be pretty and feminine, that he had a reason for picking her other than getting rid of them.

"A dress can't change you into a different person," Neji would probably say, scornfully, and he was right as usual. But, Tenten thought, but it could show off who she already was. And who she was was worthy of Sasuke and she was worthy of Neji and she was worthy of whatever the hell she wanted to be worthy of.


	14. The Fulcrum is Moving

Disclaimer: The standard disclaimer applies. Eh. 

**A/N:** Warning for my horrible Japanese (which I have conveniently escaped by utilizing the POWER of _ITALICS_)and Hidan and Tayuya's swearing habits.

I apologize for the fact that this chapter sucks so much, and that it took so long to post. The latter actually wasn't completely my fault, but I won't bore you with the explanation unless you actually want it.

**Chapter 14: The Fulcrum is Moving**

"You could have said no."

"I could also have jumped out of a glass-covered third-floor window into the mouth of a crocodile."

"You sound like her."

"Tayuya? Nah, Tayuya would've said something like 'Shit, man, I could've also fucking jumped out of a fucking glass-covered third-fucking-floor window into the fucking mouth of a motherfucking crocodile.' "

Jiroubou grimaced. "Yeah."

"C'mon, man, you know I'd _give_ her to you if I could," said Kidoumaru. "But I like my life. I don't want it to end just yet. And Tayuya would make it painful, too."

"I guess, yeah."

Kidoumaru pushed open the door to the computer labs. "I'll ditch her when we get there and then you can dance with her or something."

Jiroubou stared past Kidoumaru's head at the poster warning students of the dire consequences of stealing equipment. "I guess, yeah," he repeated, before walking off to his team's designated practice room.

.oOo.

Neji stared at the ceiling. Why was it that he could never find a window in this whole damn mansion? It was too dark in here and the heat was threatening to grab him and eat him alive. The stuffiness of the room was encroaching on his mind, trapping Neji within his own head. It wasn't a pleasant place.

Most of it was occupied by thoughts of the Hyuuga family. Their house suited them; it was cold and windowless and as far as Neji could see he wasn't ever getting out of either.

His cell of a room was located right above the main door to the house, presumably to torture him with thoughts of escape every time he heard it open. Through the floor, he heard a creak and muffled voice. Hinata was home, then.

She was followed by a shrill female shriek that carried straight up to his room. "Oh my god, Hinata, your house is _amazing_!"

Hardly.

.oOo.

Hinata, Ino, and Sakura were met at the door by her second-cousin-once-removed Takiko, followed closely by Hanabi.

"Welcome home, Hinata-sama," said Takiko with a bow of her head towards Hinata, who blushed. "Hiashi-sama is in his study." Ino and Sakura, both Japanese, would understand what the formality meant: the Hyuuga family was terribly stagnant and old-fashioned. It was, of course, but it was still embarrassing.

"You have _friends_?" said Hanabi with obvious disbelief. Hinata's blush deepened, even as she rolled her pale eyes at her little sister.

This was so _humiliating_. She cursed her father for making her bring Sakura and Ino over to meet him. Just because he was so overprotective and couldn't stand his daughter being friends with anybody who wasn't "upstanding" enough…she wasn't sure how to finish the thought.

But Hinata led the other girls up to her father's study. She glanced back at their faces, trying to read them. Sakura was gaping, which was a fairly normal reaction to the Hyuuga mansion. She couldn't tell what Ino was thinking; her blue eyes were perfectly blank.

The door to the study was open, so Hinata tapped quietly on the doorframe and walked in. Her father turned away from the form he was filling out to look at the girls. "_So these are your friends,_" he said in Japanese.

"Y-yes," Hinata replied in English. Didn't he understand how rude he was being? Her cheeks flushed again. Ino and Sakura would be talking about this all tomorrow, telling the entire school how weird the Hyuugas were, and Hinata would just about die of embarrassment. And then Neji would kill her for making the family look bad again.

.oOo.

_Poor Hinata_, thought Sakura. A house this huge would make anyone look small, but it seemed to swallow Hinata up, along with what little confidence she had. It didn't help that her father seemed to be a total ogre, either. She couldn't understand a word of what he'd said, but the way he was glaring down at his daughter told her that he wasn't particularly happy.

"_Er…I'm Yamanaka Ino_," said Ino in an unusually subdued voice. Her Japanese seemed halted, which was odd, as she was one of the best students in their class.

Hinata's father (it was difficult for Sakura to think of a man so Japanese as Mr. Hyuuga, but Hyuuga-sama didn't seem right either) said something, too fast for Sakura to follow. Ino appeared to be having the same problem, because she shook her head and said, "_I'm sorry, I don't understand._"

"Yamanaka, as in Yamanaka Suites?" His English was unaccented and precise.

Sakura could see the brief flash of anger dart across Ino's face before she masked it with that meek politeness again. It had never occurred to her that Ino could be related to the Yamanakas that owned all those high-end hotels; it was a fairly common last name, and she'd never talked about it.

"That's my aunt and uncle," she said softly. Hinata's father raised his eyebrows, then turned those creepy pale eyes to Sakura. Funny, how they didn't bother her on Hinata or Neji, only this man.

"Sakura Haruno," she said, not wanting to make a fool of herself by screwing up her Japanese. He gave her a look that clearly said he had never heard of her family. Sakura wasn't exactly surprised. Her parents both worked boring office jobs, nothing that would attract the attention of anyone as rich as the Hyuugas.

Then his gaze returned to his daughter, and he said something in rapid Japanese. Sakura didn't understand, but she felt a sudden urge to reach out and hug poor Hinata. Whatever Sakura's parents' faults, at least she was always sure that they loved her.

.oOo.

Hinata, her cheeks burning up and her eyes resolutely dry, stepped out of the study and motioned for Sakura and Ino to follow. When the door was safely shut, she said quietly, "I'm s-sorry. About Father. He…he's…old-fashioned." It was the wrong word, but Hinata couldn't think of anything better.

"Don't worry about it," said Ino, flipping a lock of hair out of her eyes.

"Yeah," said Sakura, her voice so soft it barely echoed off the marble walls of the foyer. "It's not your fault."

_I know_, thought Hinata. _I know._

.oOo.

Seven out of nine members of the Akatsuki College Prep Academic Team were currently seated around a counter in one of the school's state-of-the-art science labs.

"Hey, Shorty, where the fuck is Deidara?"

Sasori glanced at Hidan, who was sitting by the gas spigot. "You think I know?" Kisame grinned. Apparently his nicknames were catching on, at least with Hidan, whose favorite hobby was pissing the hell out of the rest of the team.

At this point, Deidara crashed into the room, skidding into a pile of textbooks before stopping himself on a replica of a small dinosaur.

"Sorry I'm late, yeah," he said, "but I was trying to get away from…_Him_." The entire team allowed themselves a small shudder. _He_ needed no nickname. _He_ was probably the only person in the world able to strike fear into the hearts of the whole Akatsuki Academic Team.

"Hello," said Pein (or Sir Leader, Kisame's name for him), neatly restacking the textbooks before taking his seat next to Zetsu. Hidan's middle finger, residing under the table, extended itself.

Kisame thought, privately, that Hidan was trying to replace _Him_ in the hearts of the team members.

It was rather foolish, as even Hidan couldn't be as annoying as Tobi Uchida.

"So, gentlemen," said Kisame, grinning broadly, "how shall we triumph this season?"

"You look like a fucking shark when you smile, asshole," was Hidan's helpful contribution.

"Your mom," Kisame replied cheerfully. "Any more ideas?"


End file.
